


Hey, Man *voice crack*

by here_for_the_klance



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Allura & Romelle (Voltron) are Cousins, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Asexual Pidge | Katie Holt, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), British Allura (Voltron), British Coran (Voltron), British Romelle (Voltron), Chatting & Messaging, Childhood Friends, Cuban Lance (Voltron), Dancer Lance (Voltron), Disney, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Explicit Language, F/F, F/M, Feel-good, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Gay Keith (Voltron), Gay Shiro (Voltron), Humor, I'm Sorry, I'm not funny, Keith & Shiro (Voltron) are Cousins, Langst, Long Lost Friends, M/M, Musicals, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining Keith (Voltron), Pining Lance (Voltron), Surfer Lance (Voltron), Texting, Things get real quick, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, This is trash, all the other ships are going to be mostly minor and background, group chat au, i am adding another unnecessary group chat to this fandom, i changed some of the tags recently, i don't know how to tag, im a disaster, im sorry this isnt really a crack fic anymore, loosely based on true events, regular writing as well as chats, so much klance, thanks for reading this mess, the gay is everywhere, there's going to be some major angst and a few trigger warnings later, theres a lot of klance, this is also a klance centric fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-22
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2019-06-30 20:47:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15759399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/here_for_the_klance/pseuds/here_for_the_klance
Summary: Pidge decides to start a group chat.Little does she know this chat would not only unite her friends, but reunite old friends who lost each other years ago.





	1. The One Where Pidge Makes a Group Chat

**Author's Note:**

> ~Special thanks to my friend Bailey for reading this trash and helping me edit it and for being super supportive and basically amazing!<3 ~
> 
> Yes, this is another group chat fic that I am shamelessly adding to this fandom. It started out as just something fun for me and a friend to distract us from the fandom exploding and being toxic after s7, but I decided to upload it 'cause what the heck. So, this is a light and funny chat fic that may or may not have some angst later. The chat will probably be broken up with regular writing too. This is also my first fic on this website, so bear with me while I try to figure it out. Fair warning - I am NOT funny and I am so sorry.
> 
> ~ Some Light Spoilers ~
> 
> So this fic is based off an AU where Lance and Keith were childhood friends, but lost contact after Keith randomly moved away. So, when Pidge makes a group chat, of course, shenanigans ensues. 
> 
> Sorry for the long authors note and I really hope you enjoy this! Thank you!! <3
> 
> ~Disclaimer: i don't own any of the VLD characters or storylines. this is purely fanfiction~

Chapter 1

The One Where Pidge Makes a Group Chat

 

Pidge absently tapped her finger on the side of her laptop. She was sitting on her bed – legs crossed and her laptop balanced precariously on her calves. She’d had the program she was supposed to be finishing pulled up for several minutes now, but still hadn’t made any move to work on it. Her mind was elsewhere.

She had talked with Hunk earlier that day about how much she wanted all her friends to meet and hang out, but since they lived all over the place, there was really no reasonable or inexpensive way they could. Then, Hunk had said something about a group chat and Pidge was sold. Her only reservation was that group chats sometimes tend to get toxic. She wanted nothing more than for all her friends to get along.

She stared at her phone. It was sitting next to her on the bed, patiently waiting for her to pick it up.

She pressed her lips together.

She really wanted her friends to meet.

They were all great people, so, there wouldn’t be _too_ much drama.

Probably.

She picked up her phone.

She _really_ wanted her friends to meet.

She took a deep breath.

Worse case scenario, she’d just delete the chat.

And besides, she had a _really_ good feeling about this.

 

**_Cryptids_R_Us_ **

_Tuesday_

_7:35pm_

**NiteCrawler** : imma do it

 **Mothman** : ????

 **Mothman** : do what

 **NiteCrawler** : two words

 **NiteCrawler** : /group/

 **NiteCrawler** : /chat/

 **Mothman** : PIDGE NO

 **NiteCrawler** : PIDGE YES

 

 

**_Robots Are My Sexuality_ **

 

_Tuesday_

_7:35pm_

**ThePidge** : hunk this is it

 **ThePidge** : iM DOING IT

 **TheHunk** : YES

 **TheHunk** : I am ReaDY

_Katie Holt created Group Chat_

_Katie Holt renamed Katie Holt to Pidgey_

_Pidgey added Takashi Shirogane, Allura Altea, Hunk Garret, Keith Kogane, Shay Balmera, Romelle Altea_

_Pidgey renamed Takashi Shirogane to Dad_

_Pidgey renamed Allura Altea to Queen_

_Pidgey renamed Hunk Garret to Hunky_

_Pidgey renamed Keith Kogane to Knifeman_

_Pidgey renamed Shay Balmera to ShayBae_

_Pidgey renamed Romelle Altea to RomCom_

_Pidgey set chat name to **Lettuce Die**_

 

_Tuesday_

_7:38pm_

**Pidgey** : what is up my fuckers

 **Hunky** : YES

 **Hunky** : FRIENDS

 **Queen** : ummm... what

 **Queen** : is this

 **ShayBae** : the fuq

 **Pidgey** : it’s a group chat

 **Pidgey** : ya know how I’ve been dying for ALL of my friends to meet?

 **Pidgey** : well since we’re all spread around and there’s really no way for anyone to meet anytime soon, I thought a group chat would suffice

 **Pidgey** : well actually Hunk gave me the idea but yeah

 **Pidgey** : thx Hunk btw

 **Hunky** : you’re welcome

 **Hunky** : OHHH mAN

 **Hunky** : I’m SO excited

 **Queen** : okay now that I know what’s going on, this is a /really/ great idea pidge!

 **Queen** : I can’t wait to meet all of your friends!

 **Dad** : I’m too tired for this.

 **Dad** : Also, why am I “dad”?

 **Pidgey** : look at your first text

 **Dad** : ….

 **Dad** : Touché.

 **RomCom** : OH yes! I love group chats! This is going to be so fun!

 **RomCom** : I can’t wait to meet all your friends pidge!

 **ShayBae** : Hunk I do believe someone just stole your Cinnamon Roll™ title

 **Hunky** : honestly…

 **Hunky** : I’m fine with that

 **RomCom** : aww you guys are sweet!

 **Dad** : Sigh.

 **Dad** : Well, if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. I guess.

 **Dad** : It’s going to be good to see who you hang out with Pidge.

 **Pidgey** : jeez you sound like matt

 **RomCom** : oh yeah! Where is matt by the way?

 **RomCom** : you didn’t add him to the chat

 **Pidgey** : yeaahh

 **Pidgey** : I don’t want my brother here

 **RomCom** : hahaha

 **RomCom** : yeah I totally understand that lol

 **Dad** : Hey, where’s Keith?

 **Dad** : If I have to be here, so does he.

 **Queen** : please stop using proper grammar in a gc

 **Queen** : it’s giving me anxiety

 **Hunky** : he can’t help it

 **Hunky** : it’s the dad in him

 **Queen** : valid

 **Dad** : Sigh.

 **Pidgey** : dad

 **Dad** : Please, don’t call me that.

 **Pidgey** : but… it’s your name

 **Dad** : UGH.

 **Queen** : lol

 **Pidgey** : ok keith come out I know you’ve been ghosting

 **Knifeman** : no

 

_Knifeman left **Lettuce Die**_

_Pidgey added Knifeman to **Lettuce Die**_

 

 **Pidgey** : awwww come on keith

 **Pidgey** : you know how important my friends are to me

 **Pidgey** : and you know how long I’ve been wanting you all to meet

 **Pidgey** : I just want us all to be friends

 **Knifeman** : ugh

 **Pidgey** : please?

 **Knifeman** : uGh

 **Pidgey** : pLEASE

 **Knifeman** : UGH

 **Pidgey** : P L E A S E

 **Knifeman** : UUUUUUHHHHGGGG

 **Pidgey** : P

 **Pidgey** : L

 **Pidgey** : E

 **Pidgey** : A

 **Pidgey** : S

 **Pidgey** : E

 **Knifeman** : F INE

 **Pidgey** : Thank you :)

 **Knifeman** : demon

 **Pidgey** : :))))))))

**_Lettuce Die_ **

_Wednesday_

_1:34pm_

**Hunky** : wow this chat died quick

 **Hunky** : anyway

 **Hunky** : Hey pidge

 **Pidgey** : yes

 **Hunky** : is it okay if I add my friend Lance to the chat? You’ve met him before – he goes to our school

 **Pidgey** : is Lance the one who’s always following you around and looks and acts like sokka from avatar

 **Hunky** : yes

 **Pidgey** : you can add him

 **Hunky** : Thank you!

 

_Hunk Garret added Lance McClain to **Lettuce Die**_

 

 **Lance McClain** : what

 **Hunky** : I added you to the chat I was telling you about

 **Hunky** : you know? The one my friend pidge made

 **Lance McClain** : oh yeah! Thanks

 **Lance McClain** : gotta fix this name tho yikes

 

_Lance McClain renamed Lance McClain to Sharkboi_

**Sharkboi** : perfect

 **Hunky** : its what Robert Rodriguez would have wanted

 **Sharkboi** : Si, mi amigo

 **Pidgey** : who tf is Robert Rodriguez

 **Sharkboi** : only one of the greatest directors of all time

 **Hunky** : he’s the director of Sharkboy and Lavagirl

 **Sharkboi** : truly a god among men

 **Pidgey** : I already regret letting you join this chat

 **Sharkboi** : :D

 **Sharkboi** : so you’re pidge then?

 **Pidgey** : yup

 **Sharkboi** : sweet

 **Sharkboi** : nice gc name btw

 **Sharkboi** : ok gtg my mom’s calling me

 

_1:48pm_

**RomCom** : aww I missed the new guy

 **Hunky** : don’t worry he’ll be back in a few

 **Hunky** : he’s probs helping his mom with lunch

 

_2:33pm_

**Sharkboi** : it’s ya boi

 **Sharkboi** : LaNcE

 **Pidgey** : definitely regretting this

 **Sharkboi** : lol you’re stuck with me now sucker

 **Pidgey** : no thanks im gay

 **Hunky** : I just chOCked

 **Sharkboi** : pidge didn’t

 **Sharkboi** : and I thought you were straight dude

 **Hunky** : omg lance pleAse

 **Dad** : LANCE.

 **Sharkboi** : I can literally HEAR the dad voice through the chat wtf

 **Pidgey** : the dad is strong with this one

 **Queen** : LMAO

 **Queen** : I’m crying im laughing so hard omg

 **Sharkboi** : who’s the queen? ;))))

 **Queen** : out of your league boy

 **Pidgey:** OOF

 **Pidgey** : SHOT DOWN

 **Sharkboi** : you wound me ;’’((((((((((

 **Hunky** : hAHAHA

 **Sharkboi** : bETRAYAL

 **Knifeman** : need some ice for that burn buddy

 **Pidgey** : keith only comin out for the roasts lol

 **Sharkboi** : I don’t know you but you need to make like pringles and can it

 **Knifeman** : wtf does that even mean

 **Sharkboi** : it MEANS

 **Sharkboi** : STFU assHoLe

 **Knifeman** : *middle finger emoji*

 **Sharkboi** : did you just

 **Sharkboi** : /type out/ an emoji…

 **Knifeman** : yeah you weren’t worth the trouble it wouldve taken to find it

 **Pidgey** : HAHAHA

 **Hunky** : oMg

 **Hunky** : roAsted

 

 

**_Takashit <Yorak_ **

****

_Wednesday_

_2:35_

**Takashit** : Wait…

 **Takashit** : Keith, you have a Nokia flip phone?? You don’t have emojis.

 **Yorak** : …

 **Yorak** : he doesn’t know that

 **Takashit** : oh my gsoh

 **Yorak** : gsoh

 **Takashit** : …

 **Takashit** : im tired

 

 

**_Lettuce Die_ **

****

_Wednesday_

_2:35_

**Sharkboi** : FUCK YOU KEITH

 **Sharkboi** : WTF IS TODAY ROAST LANCE DAY OR SMTH????

 **Hunky** : isn’t that everyday

 **Sharkboi** : gASPS IN SPANISH

 **Sharkboi** : I HAVE BEEN BETRAYED

 **Sharkboi** : bLOCKDD

 **Hunky** : wait no unblock me ily

 **Sharkboi** : …

 **Sharkboi** : fiNE

 **Sharkboi** : ily2

 **Hunky** : <3

 **Sharkboi** : <3

 **RomCom** : aww

 **RomCom** : are you two dating or smth?

 **Sharkboi** : HAHAHA

 **Hunky** : HAHAHA

 **Sharkboi** : omg no we aren’t lol

 **Sharkboi** : we’ve just been best friends since 8th grade so we’re really close

 **RomCom** : oH

 **RomCom** : okay

 **RomCom** : also

 **RomCom** : hi new guy!!!

 **Sharkboi** : hi!!!!!

 **Dad** : WTF

 **Dad** : Can you guys please CHILL.

 **Sharkboi** : why don’t you just turn off the notifs?

 **Knifeman** : he doesn’t know how

 **Knifeman** : he really is a Dad™

 **Sharkboi** : wait

 **Sharkboi** : I thought that was a joke

 **Sharkboi** : are you actually a dad?

 **Sharkboi** : are you knife’s dad?

 **Pidgey** : I JUST SPIT OUT MY COFFEE

 **Knifeman** : HAHAHAHHA

 **Dad** : NO, I AM NOT!

 **Dad** : HOW OLD DO YOU THINK I AM??

 **Sharkboi** : DUDE IDK??

 **Sharkboi** : I just got in this chat today!!

 **Sharkboi** : I don’t even know anyone’s real name other than Pidge and Hunk!!!!!

 **Dad** : ….

 **Dad** : Fine. I guess you’re excused.

 **Sharkboi** : ty :)

 **Pidgey** : oh my gosh im a terrible friend

 **Pidgey** : I just realized I never introduced everyone

 **Pidgey** : quick everyone who’s ghosting sound off so I can see who’s here

 **Sharkboi** : present!

 **Sharkboi** : (get it? cause im a GIFT)

 **Dad** : Sigh.

 **Queen** : here!

 **RomCom** : hello!

 **ShayBae** : im here too

 **Hunk** : here!

 **Pidgey** : wait where’s keith

 **Dad** : he’s at work

 **Pidgey** : dammit

 **Dad** : Language.

 **Pidgey** : ugH

 **Sharkboi** : keith works?

 **Dad** : Yeah.

 **Sharkboi** : where?

 **Dad** : He works part time at a café close to our apartment.

 **Sharkboi** : oh

 **Sharkboi** : cool

 **Pidgey** : interesting

 **Sharkboi** : what’s interesting?

 **Pidgey** : nothing

 **Sharkboi** : ???????


	2. The One With The Introductions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~ special thanks to my amazing friend Bailey who is brilliant and is basically writing this story with me ~
> 
> I am SO SORRY this took so long. Bailey and I were deciding and figuring out where I wanted to go with this fic and after much debate (and a LOT of fangirling) we decided that it's not going to be as much of a crack fic as I originally thought. I'm going to keep doing the group chat gig, but right now it's looking like there is going to be A LOT of angst later and i am so sorry for that. 
> 
> Also - I CANNOT BELIEVE THE AMOUNT OF KUDOS THIS FIC HAS GOTTEN!! I am so wowed by that. i was not expecting to get so much good feedback for this. So THANK YOU SO MUCH to everyone who commented and gave me kudos!!!!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!! <3
> 
> anyway sorry for another long a/n but thank you so much for reading and i hope you all enjoy this chapter!

**Chapter 2**

**The One With The Introductions**

 

**_Lettuce Die_ **

 

_Thursday_

_6:30pm_

**Pidgey** : where tf did everyone go

 **Pidgey** : EVERYONE COME HERE NOW SO WE CAN INTRODUCE OURSELVES

 **Sharkboi** : JeEz I was at DINNER

 **Sharkboi** : you almost got me in trouble with my grandmother pidge

 **Sharkboi** : we aren’t supposed to have our phones at the table

 **Sharkboi** : I had to sneak off to the bathroom to answer this

 **Sharkboi** : I could have DIED

 **Knifeman** : maybe you should turn your volume off then dumbass

 **Sharkboi** : bINCH LLSKMLDKMF

 **Dad** : Guys, please.

 **Dad** : And, Keith, shouldn’t you be at work??

 **Knifeman** : you’re not my dad

 **Knifeman** : I do what I want

 **Dad** : Keith, please go back to work before you get fired. Again.

 **Sharkboi** : yeah go back to work kEiTh

 **Pidge** : yes behave for father

 **Dad** : KATIE.

 **Pidge** : YES DAD

 **RomCom** :  the amount of hostility in this chat is overwhelming

 **Sharkboi** : D:

 **Sharkboi** : perhaps I can make it up to you at dinner? ;)

 **Hunky** : Lance please

 **RomCom** : I’d love to lance but im in London

 **Sharkboi** : well shucks

 **Sharkboi** : im in cuba rn

 **RomCom** : oh cool!

 **RomCom** : are you from cuba?

 **Sharkboi** : yeah I am! I don’t live here tho. I actually live in the states but most of my mom’s side is still in cuba so we visit in the summer and for most holidays

 **RomCom** : oh that’s so awesome!

 **Sharkboi** : yeah it IS pretty cool

 **Sharkboi** : damn it’s late for you tho isnt it? its 6:30p in Varadero

 **RomCom** : it’s not too late, its 11:30p here

 **Sharkboi** : oh okay

 **Sharkboi** : time zones are weird

 **RomCom** : agreed

 **Pidgey** : so who wants to introduce themselves first

 **Hunky** : don’t you want to make sure everyone’s here first?

 **Pidgey** : they are

 **Pidgey** : and if they aren’t they can just stay confused

 **Sharkboi** : and not to be rude but can we make this quick b/c I can only hide in the bathroom for so long

 **Queen** : lol

 **Pidgey** : whateves ill go first

 **Pidgey** : you guys already know me but Im Pidge and, im a sophmore in high school and I’m in robotics with Hunk. We’ve been working on a super-secret project for the robotics club so don’t ask us about it (ps hunk i cant wait to finishing working on it with you this semester when i come down to flordia!!!!)

 **Hunky** : (SAME! IM SO EXCITED)

 **Sharkboi** : I’LL GO SECOND

 **Sharkboi** : As you’ve probably already guessed – The name’s Lance and im a senior in hs this year.  I’m from Varadero Beach and I’ve got a massive family. And Im bi and ready to die

 **Sharkboi** : also im single – to alllll other singles in the chat ;)

 **Sharkboi** : except pidge cause she’s like five

 **Pidgey** : HEY! I resent that!

 **Sharkboi** : sooo

 **Sharkboi** : you WANT me to hit on you??

 **Pidgey** : …

 **Pidgey** : good point

 **Sharkboi** : right

 **Pidgey** : so who’s next?

 **Hunky** : Ill go!

 **Hunky** : My name’s Tsuyoshi Garret, but everyone just calls me Hunk. I’m a senior, too, and I work at my family’s restaurant on cocoa beach. It’s a life-long dream of mine to be a head, and maybe even open my very own restaurant one day

 **Sharkboi** : yesss buddy

 **Sharkboi** : you guys should seriously try some of Hunk’s food sometime. He is INCREDIBLE

 **Hunky** : aww thanks dude

 **RomCom** : that sounds so cool! And I would LOVE to EAT ALL YOUR FOOD! I wish I could cook!

 **Queen** : aww! That sounds brilliant Hunk! And id love to try some sometime too

 **Dad** : It really does! It’s always great to have solid plan for what you want to do after high school.

 **Pidgey** : reality check lol

 **Queen** : that….

 **Queen** : was a really dad thing to say

 **Dad** : Sigh.

 **ShayBae** : Also I can confirm! Hunk makes the BEST food!!

 **ShayBae** : and I should know! I work at his family’s restaurant

 **ShayBae** : guess ill just go ahead and introduce myself too

 **ShayBae** : My name is Shay Balmera and I am a senior this year with Lance and Hunk. I love painting and graphic design, but I am not quite sure what I want to do with my life yet

 **Hunky** : awwww!!!! Thanks shay!! And don’t worry, you figure out what you want to do! <3 <3 <3

 **ShayBae** : <3 <3 <3

 **Sharkboi** : Pure™

 **Queen** : rt

 **Pidgey** : rt

 **Queen** : its great to meet you shay!

 **RomCom** : yes! I think we’ll be great friends!

 **ShayBae** : I am pleased to meet all of you as well! Hopefully we will be able to meet in real life soon!

 **Pidgey** : shay where have you been? You just said like three things yesterday and that’s it

 **ShayBae** : sorry, I am just not as glued to my phone as the rest of you XD. And I said something today!

 **Pidgey** : yeah lol

 **Pidgey** : but only after hunk showed up

 **ShayBae** : that is true

 **ShayBae** : I love you pidge, but if hunk was not in this chat I would have left a while ago

 **ShayBae** : I do not like group chats

 **ShayBae** : but I could not leave hunky here all by himself with you and lance :) <3

 **Hunky** : thank you so much shay I don’t deserve you

 **ShayBae** : XD <3

 **Hunky** : <3

 **Sharkboi** : hEY!

 **Pidgey** : as much as I love roasting lance, I also want to finish introductions before he leaves

 **Pidgey** : how bout you go next dad

 **Dad** : 1. Please, don’t call me that.

 **Dad** : 2. My name is Takashi Shirogane but please just call me Shiro. I’m Keith’s cousin and we live together with my best friend/roommate. I have a masters in Astrophysics and I teach at keith’s school. I’m also fluent in Japanese.

 **RomCom** : nice to meet you!!

 **Queen** : Japanese is such a beautiful language. My father took me to japan once, it’s a stunning country

 **Dad** : It is! My mother was born there, she and her family moved to the states when she was a teenager

 **Hunky** : that’s so cool! And its great to meet you!

 **Pidge** : wow its so wonderful to finally meet you dad

 **Dad** : Stop being a little shit, Katie, this was your idea.

 **Pidge** : *shocked face*

 **Queen** : Hahahhahah

 **Sharkboi** : dude

 **Sharkboi** : does that mean you can watch anime without subtitles

 **Dad** : …

 **Dad** : yes

 **Sharkboi** : epic

 **RomCom** : Me next!!

 **RomCom** : I’m Romelle Altea and im cousins with Allura and we both live in London with my brother Bandon and our family friend Coran, whos a lot like an eccentric uncle. You all should meet him someday, hes a riot

 **RomCom** : anyway. My favorite color is lavender and im homeschooled but im going to university after this year

 **Shay** : it’s lovely to meet you!

 **Sharkboi** : youre uncle sounds cool! Id like to meet him!

 **RomCom** : allura you go next!

 **Queen** : alright!

 **Queen** : My name is Allura Altea. As Rom already said, we’re cousins and we live in London together with Coran and Bandor. Im currently studying law and politics, but I dabble in theatre as well. Romelle does too! She’s really good at makeup and costume design

 **Sharkboi** : Oh that’s awesome!! I do theatre too! I actually plan on auditioning for the fall play this year

 **Sharkboi** : fUCK

 **Sharkboi** : THEY FOUND ME

 **Pidgey** : KEITH INTRODUCE YOURSELF QUICK

 **Knifeman** : Im keith and I hate this family

 **Pidgey** : I hate you

 **Sharkboi** : mY SISTER IS BANGING ON THE DOOR

 **Sharkboi** : ID LOVE TO TALK MORE BUT I GTG

 **Pidgey** : rip

 **Knifeman** : sigh

 **Knifeman** : it must be nice to have a family

 **Dad** : I am right here, Keith.

 **Knifeman** : so nice

 **Dad** : I AM LITERALLY TEXTING YOU

 **Dad** : AND GO BACK TO WORK, YOU MISCREANT!

 **Knifeman** : I DO WHAT I WANT

 **Queen** : HAHAHAHa

~~ ☼ ~~

**_The GAYnes_ **

 

_Thursday_

_6:53_

**Yorak** : Shiro how mad would you be if I told you I got fired

 **Takashit** : YOU WHAT

 **Yorak** : good to know

 **Yorak** : I didn’t get fired I was just curious

 **Takashit** : keith WTF

 **Takashit** : Are you TRYING to give me a heart attack?

 **Takashit** : also

 **Takashit** : WHY AREN’T YOU WORKING??

 **Yorak** : its slow and im bored

 **Takashit** : well go bother someone else jeez

 **Yorak** : fine

 **Yorak** : I’ll go bother your boyfriend

 **Takashit** : You leave Adam alone Keith!

 **Takashit** : and he’s NOT my boyfriend

 **Yorak** : **Not YET

 **Takashit** : Keith PLEASE stop

 **Yorak** : I’ll stop when you bang him

 **Yorak** : I’m tired of seeing the two of you pining

 **Yorak** : I have to LIVE with the two of you practically drooling over each other

 **Yorak** : it’s nauseating

 **Takashit** : kEith stOp

 **Takashit** : I don’t PINE

 **Takashit** : And, besides, he doesn’t like me like that, Keith

 **Yorak** : AHAHAHA

 **Yorak** : I call BULLSHIT

 **Yorak** : if hes not completely in love with you then why didn’t he ever move out

 **Yorak** : you guys have been roommates since COLLEGE

 **Takashit** : Maybe because we’re best friends???? And its cheaper and more convenient to share rent with people Keith!

 **Yorak** : ……

 **Yorak** : holy fuck you really are absolutely hopeless

 **Yorak** : ok im going

 **Yorak** : you’re complete obliviousness is giving me a headache

 **Yorak** : by e

 

**_Cryptids_R_Us_ **

 

_Thursday_

_7:10pm_

**Mothman** : im bored

 **NiteCrawler** : aren’t you supposed to be working

 **Mothman** : yeah but its so sloooooow

 **Mothman** : we’ve had like one chick come in thirty minutes ago

 **NiteCrawler** : sucks

 **Mothman** : talk to me please

 **NiteCrawler** : no

 **NiteCrawler** : im programming

 **Mothman** : but im BORED

 **NiteCrawler** : suffer bitch

 **Mothman** : >:(

 

_7:20_

**Mothman** : so what’s up with that kid lance

 **Mothman** : why do you hang out with him

 **Mothman** : hes a jerk

 **Mothman** : also who just names their kid lance

 **Mothman** : that’s a stupid name

 

_7:28_

**Mothman** : KATIE STOP IGNORING ME

 **NiteCrawler** : JEEZ FINE

 **NiteCrawler** : good grief youre so whiny

 **NiteCrawler** : and why the sudden interest in lance?

 **Mothman** : im bored and im desperate to talk about something

 **NiteCrawler** : well I don’t really know anything about lance other than he hangs out with hunk all the time

 **NiteCrawler** : but I DO know hunk really well, and I know hunk wouldn’t be friends with a jerk

 **NiteCrawler** : and there are lots of people named lance

 **NiteCrawler** : I thought you’d like that name tbh

 **NiteCrawler** : a lance is a type of pointy weapon

 **NiteCrawler** : aren’t pointy weapons your thing

 **NiteCrawler** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Mothman** :  that’s gross pidge

 **Mothman** : and stop with the lenny face its weird

 **NiteCrawler** : why is it making you uncomfortable

 **NiteCrawler** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Mothman** : gtg theres a customer

 **NiteCrawler** : well goodbye to you too

 **NiteCrawler** : moody

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!!! Love you guys!!! <3


	3. The One With the Filler (bc the writers are having a hard time okay)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~ Special kudos to Bailey for being a total goddess and writing this fic with me!!~
> 
> Hello, everyone! OH MY GOSH, WE CANNOT BELIEVE THIS FIC HAS GOTTEN OVER ONE HUNDRED KUDOS HELLA YEET!  
> THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!
> 
> We are so sorry for how long this fic has taken. We're both crazy busy with school and life, but we've been working on it as much as we could. This chapter is really short, but we are almost finished with the second part. And good news!! The second part is going to be extremely long since it's going to be mostly regular writing with only a little bit of group chat goodness.
> 
> Thank you guys again for reading! We love y'all!! Until the next time!
> 
> <3

**Chapter 3**

**The One With Filler (bc the writers are having a hard time okay)**

  


**_Cryptids_R_Us_ **

 

_Thursday_

_7:59pm_

**Mothman** : hey sorry I split earlier

 **Mothman** : that customer was a total dick

 **Mothman** : he kept insisting I got his order wrong??

 **Mothman** : but all he ordered was a BLACK COFFEE

 **Mothman** : and THEN

 **Mothman** : he got pISSED when i spelled his name wrong

 **Mothman** : like im sorry you cant instagram you’re cup because i put an c instead of a k

 **Mothman** : i have never in my life heard the name bokar

 **Mothman** : I fucking hate working here

 

_8:03pm_

**Mothman** : so what are you working on?

 

_8:07pm_

**NiteCrawler** : programming

 **Mothman** : that's specific

 **NiteCrawler** : shut up loser

 **Mothman** : shut up NERD

 **NiteCrawler** : fuck you

 **Mothman** : *middle finger emoji*

 **NiteCrawler** : anywAY

 **NiteCrawler** : it's for a video game I've been messing with for a while

 **NiteCrawler** : it helps calm me down

 **Mothman** : what's wrong?

 **Mothman** : what are you upset about?

 **NiteCrawler** : idk it's stupid

 **Mothman** : pidge

 **Mothman** : nothing about you is stupid

 **Mothman** : except for maybe your glasses

 **NiteCrawler** : HA

 **NiteCrawler** : they're Matt's

 **Mothman** : my point still stands

 **NiteCrawler** : I just snorted so loud I woke up my dog

 **Mothman** : I miss Bae Bae

 **NiteCrawler** : you saw him last week dipshit

 **Mothman** : shut up I still miss him

 **NiteCrawler** : pfft

 **Mothman** : so what are you upset about?

 **NiteCrawler** : sigh

 **NiteCrawler** : it's nothing

 **NiteCrawler** : it's just

 **NiteCrawler** : ugh

 **NiteCrawler** : i’m going to have to go to florida soon for school

 **Mothman** : i thought you liked the garrison?

 **NiteCrawler** : I do!

 **NiteCrawler** : it’s not that

 **Mothman** : is it your friends then?

 **Mothman** : is it hunk?

 **Mothman** : or lance?

 **Mothman** : someone else?

 **Mothman** : do i need to shank someone

 **NiteCrawler** : whAT???

 **NiteCrawler** : NO

 **NightCrawler** : nonononononono

 **NiteCrawler** : its not them

 **NightCrawler** : no my friends are great

 **Mothman** : then what’s the problem?

 **NiteCrawler** : it’s stupid

 **Mothman** : Pidge.

 **NiteCrawler** : aHH FINE   
**NiteCrawler** : DONT USE THE DAD VOICE ON ME

 **NiteCrawler** : im going to miss my parents okay?

 **NiteCrawler** : i always get so homesick

 **NiteCrawler** : and  im going to miss you too i guess

 **Mothman** : gee thanks

 **NiteCrawler** : and i know i’ll have matt

 **NiteCrawler** : but he gets busy with his friends and his work

 **NiteCrawler** : and then i get lonely and miserable and cant sleep and it sucks

 **Mothman** : you’ve never told me about this before

 **NiteCrawler** : idk why i didnt

 **NiteCrawler** : i didnt want mom and dad to know because i was afraid they wouldnt let me go - they already were iffy about it

 **NiteCrawler** : and i didnt tell matt bc i didnt want him to think i was a baby and i didnt want to be the clingy little sister bc i know matt would force me to hang out with him and his friends

 **NiteCrawler** : and i didnt tell you cause i guess

 **NiteCrawler** : i felt bad complaining since

 **NiteCrawler** : well you know

 **Mothman** : yeah i DO know

 **Mothman** : and i know how fucking lonely it is to feel lonely all the time

 **NiteCrawler:** thank you for those inspiring words of inspiration

 **Mothman** : shut up its late okay

 **NiteCrawler** : its 8:15

 **Mothman** : and i know how much it sucks to be homesick

 **Mothman** : im always up for facetiming and texting and talking to you pidge

 **Mothman** : i’ll miss you too

 **Mothman** : and i know matt wouldnt think youre a baby or a clingy little sister

 **Mothman** : hes probably feeling homesick too

 **Mothman** : i know he’d want you to talk to him pidge

 **NiteCrawler** : thanks keith

 **Mothman** : hey i know what will make you feel better

 **Mothman** : i dont have to work this weekend

 **Mothman** : want to go cryptid hunting?

 **NiteCrawler** : YES OMG YES

 **NiteCrawler** : YESS WE HAVENT BEEN IN SOO LONG

 **Mothman** : i know

 **Mothman** : fuck this is gonna be fun

 **NiteCrawler** : HELL YEAH IT IS

 **NiteCrawler** : OMG

 **NiteCrawler** : I HAVE A FUCKTON OF NEW EQUIPMENT IVE BEEN WORKING ON

 **NiteCrawler** : okay gtg i gotta lot of work to do to get this all finished for saturday

 **NiteCrawler** : night keith!

 **Mothman** : good night pidge

  


**_Longsuffering Siblings_ **

 

_Thursday_

_8:57pm_

**Shithead** : KEITH

 **Shithead** : what the FUCK did you say to my sister????

 **Shithead** : she fucking kicked me out of MY shed to work on some cryptid gear or some shit

 **Shithead** : WHEN I SAID SHE COULD USE THE SHED I MEAN THAT WE COULD /SHARE/ IT

 **NoThanks** : hey matt

 **NoThanks** : yeah i told her i'd take her cryptid hunting this weekend

 **Shithead** : ya little shit

 **Shithead** : well i guess i can say goodbye to that computer i was building until this weekend

 **NoThanks** : you need the break matt

 **NoThanks** : pidge isn’t the only one who works too hard

 **Shithead** : yeah you right

 **Shithead** : maybe i’ll come bother you and we can fuck with shiro and adam

 **NoThanks** : please do

 **NoThanks** : they are being more obnoxious than usual

 **NoThanks** : i don't know how shiro is still in denial

 **NoThanks** : adam practically throws himself at shiro on a daily basis

 **Shithead** : i pity you

 **NoThanks** : i pity myself

 **Shithead** : wyd?

 **NoThanks** : just got off work

 **NoThanks** : slow night

 **NoThanks** : and the customers tonight were all assholes

 **NoThanks** : you?

 **Shithead** : well i WAS working in the lab but thanks to SOMEONE my sister KICKED ME OUT

 **NoThanks** : you call the shed in your backyard your lab??

 **Shithead** : gtg

 **NoThanks** : Ha

 

 **_  
_ ** **_The GAYnes_ **

 

_Thursday_

_10:30pm_

**Keith** : im home

 **Keith** : if you're having sex please stop

 **Takashi** : what the fuck keith

 **Takashi** : we are NOT DATING

 **Takashi** : there's pasta in the fridge

 **Takashi** : good night

 **Keith** : (doesn't mean you're not fucking)

 **Takashi** : GOOD. NIGHT. KEITH.

  


**_Cryptids_R_Us_ **

 

_Friday_

_2:30am_

**NiteCrawler** : dude you need an upgrade for hunting this weekend

 **Mothman** : why?

 **NiteCrawler** : do you still have that nasty nokia phone

 **Mothman** : i might

 **Mothman** : and there is nothing wrong with it! It does exactly what its supposed to do

 **Mothman** : and why do i need a new one for hunting specifically??

 **NiteCrawler** : one word

 **NiteCrawler** : caaammmerrraaa

 **Mothman** : …..

 **Mothman** : dammit

 **Mothman** : shiro’s going to have a field day

 **NiteCrawler** : send me screenshots

 **Mothman** : i hate when you’re right

 **NiteCrawler** : *cue diabolical laughter*

 **Mothman** : gremlin

  


**_Bros Before Hoes_ **

 

_Friday_

_3:07am_

**Keith** : I need money

 

_8:34am_

**Takashi** : for what?

 **Keith** : …..

 **Keith** : i need a new phone for cryptid hunting

 **Keith** : im going with pidge saturday

 **Takashi** : oh

 **Takashi** : oh it's happening

 **Takashi** : I’ m going to have an  ANEURYSM

 **Takashi** : ADAM COME QUICK

 **Keith** : fuck

 **Takashi** : THE CHILD HAS GROWN UP

 **Keith** : didn't mean to send it to this chat

 **Adam** : GASP

 **Adam** : oh my gosh keith

 **Adam** : I am so proud of you

 **Adam** : <3

 **Keith** : i fucking hate this family

 **Adam** : awww he loves us Takashi

 **Takashi** : *wipes away imaginary tear* This is the happiest day of my life

 **Adam** : i honestly never thought you’d get rid of that dinosaur phone

 **Adam** : that thing is ancient

 **Takashi** : HEY watch it. I'm not that old, I had that phone in high school so it's only like 8 years old   
**Adam** : its older than you

 **Adam** : youre only 6

 **Takashi** :jrekjdfkjwdklsdkmdkml

 **Takashi** : aDAM

**Adam** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Keith** : uuuuugggGGGHHHH

 **Keith** : can you stop arguing like an old married couple and answer me??

 **Keith** : can I have the phone or not?

 **Takashi** : can you say please?

 **Keith** : please

 **Adam** : wow that was easy

 **Keith** : just like your mom

 **Adam:** keith you're gay

 **Keith** : so are you

 **Adam** : as i am reminded everyday

 **Adam** : Also I can take you this afternoon Keith

 **Adam** : Im getting off work early and we need stuff for dinner anyway

 **Keith** : thanks

 **Adam** : np

  


**_The GAYnes_ **

 

_Saturday_

_6:00pm_

**Yorak** : also i need your car shiro

 **Takashi** : of fucking course you do

  
  


**_Adam <Takashi_ **

 

_Saturday_

_7:00pm_

**Adam** : since keith isn’t going to be in for dinner, there’s really no reason to cook a big meal for dinner and i dont feel like getting take out again

 **Adam** : how about we go out tonight?

 **Adam** : my treat?

 **Takashi** : that sounds great adam

 

**_The GAYnes_ **

_Saturday_

_7:01pm_

**Takashit** :AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

_7:26pm_

**Yorak** : what the fuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading!! <3 Did anyone get the 80s reference we threw in there?


	4. The One with the Cryptids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yes I jumped on the cryptid bandwagon - No i have no regrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Special thanks to Bailey <3 *heart eyes* ~  
> SOOOOO WE'RE ALIVE!  
> I am so sorry for making y'all wait so long, I am actually the WORST writer every i SWEAR. Thank you guys so much for reading and not giving up on us! Thank you so much for all the kudos and comments! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and don't hate me too much. It's extra long this time! 
> 
> Thank you all again!  
> Until the next time!

**Chapter 4**

 

**The One With the Cryptids**

 

Keith glanced sidelong at Pidge. She was bent over her laptop typing away furiously - her glasses sliding down her nose and her bangs falling into her eyes. They had started their drive not too long ago, but Pidge had already whipped out her laptop and was elbow deep in whatever she was doing. It was probably research, if Keith had to guess. Neither of them knew much about the cryptid they were currently hunting. He had actually forgotten what it was called. Keith was more of a mothman kinda guy, but unfortunately they didn’t have enough time or money to drive up to Point Pleasant, West Virginia. So, local cryptids it was.

Keith tapped at the wheel, feeling restless. He usually didn’t mind the long silences he and Pidge would lapse into, but the anticipation was making him uncharacteristically fidgety. They drove in silence for a few minutes, Keith listening to Pidge tap away at the keys and their cryptid hunting playlist playing softly in the background. Keith glanced at Pidge again. She was still focused intently on the screen, the backlight reflecting off her glasses.

“What’re you doing?” Keith blurted out, unable to stand it any longer. Pidge looked up, surprised.

“Just pulling up the docs I made on this cryptid actually,” she said, brushing her bangs out of her face.

“What’d you find?”

Pidge huffed a laugh. “Some freaky shit. This thing was no joke.”

“What was it called again?”

Pidge gave Keith a flat look over her glasses. “Seriously, Keith?”

She rolled her eyes when Keith shrugged. “It’s the Grunch.”

“The Grinch?  Shouldn’t we wait until around Christmas?”

“Oh my gosh, Keith. Not the Grinch! The _Grunch_! And the Grinch isn’t even a cryptid.”

Keith made a skeptical humming noise. “I don’t know, Pidge. He’s green. I think that qualifies.”

There was a short silence, where Pidge looked up and stared at Keith with such incredulity and horror, Keith almost lost it right there.

Through sheer force of will, Keith managed to hold his deadpan. He even managed to say, “There are lots of green cryptids. The Grinch, Yoda, the Hulk. Shrek.”

When Keith was answered with absolute silence, he glanced at Pidge, and lost it. He broke into a grin.

Pidge whacked him on the arm. “Oh my gosh, Keith! I thought you were serious for a second, what the _fuck_.”

“Oh, yeah, cause I totally thought a fucking Dr. Seuss character was a cryptid. Do you even know me?” Keith said, sarcasm dripping from his words.

Pidge just rolled her eyes.

There was another lull in the conversation before Keith realized Pidge never answered his question.

“So, what’s the Grunch’s story, then? What did you find?”

Pidge exhaled. “Well, compared to chupacabras in other areas, the Grunch has learned to blend in more with its surroundings. It apparently looks like a cross between a dog and a reptile, and it's as old as the city of New Orleans itself.”

“That doesn't sound too weird.”

“Trust me. It gets weird.” She gave Keith a look over the rim of her glasses, before pushing them back up her nose and returning to her laptop.

“So, anyway,” she continued, eyes fixed on the screen, “animals started disappearing and people were reporting strange creatures roaming the woods near the road. Okay, so here's where the lore gets fucking weird. If you see an injured animal while traveling on Grunch Road - that’s what they call the road it usually appears on - legend says that if you get out of your car to help it, the Grunch will attack you. It says, and I quote, ‘the Grunch will come to drain your blood and devour your body.’ This website I found goes on to say that the Grunch's origins trace back to the Voodoo Queen - Marie Laveau - herself. It says that she accidentally created the Grunch after castrating the Devil Baby in order to stop him from reproducing. His… male parts turned into a male and female Grunch, and then they attacked her and almost killed her. Laveau fainted, and when she awoke, the Devil Baby and the Grunches had disappeared.”

There was a short silence, while Keith processed her words.

“What the fuck.”

“I know right?”

“So she just-” Keith made a slicing motion with his hand. “The devil’s _balls_?”

“... yes.”

“And they… attacked her.” Keith stared at pidge in disgust. “We’re cryptid hunting _testicles_?” Keith’s voice rose in pitch as he whipped his head to stare at Pidge wide eyed. A car laid on the horn as he swerved into their lane, and he jerked the wheel back.

“Jesus, Keith! Eyes on the road! And they _were._ Emphasis on _were_. This Grunch is a man eating monster now.”

Keith let out a breath. “This isn’t like Mothman,” then more to himself he muttered, “What the fuck did I sign up for?”

“Hey,” Pidge looked up _, “you_ invited _me_.”

Keith couldn’t disagree with that. The lengths he was willing to go to for bonding time with Pidge. “This is the last time we hunt an obscure cryptid.”

Pidge snorted. “Now that is a statement I can endorse.”

~~ ☼ ~~

One hour of playful banter, fights with the aux cord, and intense cryptid debates later Pidge and Keith were navigating the traffic of the Business District of downtown New Orleans.

Keith slammed on his brakes, laying on his horn as a couple of drunk guys ran across the street.

“I cannot _believe_ you talked me into driving down here. I _knew_ it would be a nightmare.”

“What? I’m hungry. And we need to waste a bit of time anyway.”

“We could have just gone to the coffee shop we passed like fifteen minutes ago.”

Pidge gave Keith an offended look. “No, we couldn’t have. It wasn’t Café Du Monde and I want beignets.”

“That coffee shop sold beignets.”

“But it wasn’t Café Du Monde. Those are the only beignets I will ever accept.”

“Oh my gosh Pidge they’re just glorified powdered donuts anyway. They all taste the same. ”

“KEITH KOGANE YOU TAKE THAT BACK!”

“Alright! Damn, Pidge. Didn’t know you cared so much about pastries.”

“They’re not _pastries_ -” Pidge snapped. “They’re God’s gift to humanity. Ambrosia of the gods.”

“I’ll take your word for it.”

They actually made it to the French Quarter fairly quickly considering the traffic. The hard part had been finding a parking spot. They found one about a mile away and walked down to Jackson Square. The night was humid and warm, Keith already knew for a fact that his t-shirt would be sticking to him by the end of the night.

The green and white awning of Café Du Monde was illuminated by several street lights and seemed to glow and stand out like a beacon against the night. The café was packed like it always was - the low hum of conversation could be heard from blocks away. There was never an empty seat at the cafe, not in the outdoor area or in the indoor area. It should have been annoying or frustrating, but to Keith, it was actually quite endearing. It added to the charm of the place. Keith could see why Pidge would like it.

Keith really didn’t care for coffee shops as much as he used to. Maybe working in one for the past two years made him numb to what an old friend used to call a “tantalizing aroma.” But as Keith walked up to that cafe, the smell of dough and ground coffee beans hit his senses like a freight train. The smell triggered it like a switch. Years of memories swirled to the front of his mind mixing with the bitter and sweet smells.

_The tastes._

_The music._

_A brilliant smile._

_Blue eyes._

_A contagious laugh._

_A lost happiness._

He stopped walking. The sudden wave of emotions startling him to a standstill. Someone behind him slammed against his back, cursing and shoving aggressively past him. Keith couldn’t find it in himself to care. The bitter smell of coffee, the cool night air, the drone of hundreds of conversations, and the faint soulful sound of jazz transported him back to another place and another time. It was nostalgic. And it made him nauseous. Keith felt his eyes glaze, felt himself beginning to spiral… down, down, _d o w n_ \- a hand on his arm jolted him from the memories. He blinked. Pidge was very close, concern clouding her expression and making her eyebrows crash over her amber eyes.

“Hello? Earth to Keith?”

Keith shook his head slightly. “Sorry. What did you say?”

“I didn’t say anything,” Pidge said bluntly. “You just stopped walking. I turned around and you were gone.” She adjusted her glasses and squinted up at him. “Are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” she asked her voice suddenly serious.

He might as well have.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

She obviously didn’t believe him, but she didn’t pursue the matter either. She released his arm and a mischievous grin lit up her face. “You know, it’s actually really possible you did see a ghost - considering the city we’re in.”

He felt an ugly twinge in his chest, but studiously ignored it. “You know I don’t believe in ghosts,” he said, thankful for the subject change.

Pidge just hummed and raised an eyebrow. “Not yet.”

Keith rolled his eyes, but he was smiling.

~~ ☼ ~~

Once Pidge and Keith had their orders - two orders of beignets, a cafe au lait for Pidge and a black coffee for Keith - they walked about a fifty feet to the stairs facing the street and St. Louis. It was a beautiful view of the mule drawn carriages and the Cathedral-Basilica. The glow of a street lamp fell across them as they sat on the steps and munched on their snacks.

They were quiet - content to listen to the street musicians and watch the hordes of drunk people stumbling down the street, laughing and singing uproariously. Keith once again found himself drifting off, his mind wandering. The street musicians in front of the cafe had started another song, it took Keith a few moments to place the song. He started when he recognized it. It was a rendition of _Dream a Little Dream of Me_ by Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong. Keith felt a sharp stabbing pain in his chest.

 _Why was_ everything _reminding him of…_ him _._

“... there, - Keith?”

“What?”

“I said, are you okay? You look kind of… sad.”

“No, I’m fine. Just thinking.”

“A dangerous pastime.”

Keith scowled. “Stop quoting Disney around me.”

Pidge huffs. “You know, I will never understand your profound dislike of Disney, Keith, especially when you already seem to know literally _every_ quote. The movies are actually really good - and that’s coming from _me_.”

“Yeah, well. It’s all a conspiracy and it’s just a ploy for big corporations. It gets you sucked in with magic and fairy tales and happy endings and-”

“ _Riiiiight_. Well, I think your hatred of the Mouse goes far beyond conspiracy theories,” Pidge interrupted, “Who hurt you, Keef?” Pidge smirked, waggling her eyebrows and grinning. Keith knew she was just messing around, but her words hit deep, stinging more than they should have.

Keith stood abruptly, a dark look clouding his expression. “I’m going to throw this away.”

Keith turned sharply and stormed away. He heard Pidge weakly call out after him, but he was far enough away to pretend like he hadn’t heard her.

Keith walked stiffly to the trashcan at the benches near the cafe. He tossed his trash in and just stood there for a second, trying to compose himself. It was just too much all at once. The coffee and music. The quotes and cryptid hunting. It pushed him over the edge. Just random, stupid, little things. He needed to calm down. His breathing was erratic and his heartbeat was escalating. He sucked in a deep breath and let his eyes fall shut. Slowly, he breathed in and out, focusing on the mournful lull of a trumpet from the group of musicians. After a few moments, Keith had calmed down enough to return to his seat.

Keith felt the dull burn of guilt in his chest when he came back to see Pidge sitting with her chin resting on her knees and her gaze somewhere in the distance. She looked miserable. When she caught sight of him, she straightened up and an expression of guilt crossed her face. Keith felt his own guilt twinge his chest. It wasn’t Pidge’s fault, she had just been teasing him. She didn’t know how close to the truth she had hit. Keith felt terrible - this was going to eat Pidge up no matter what he said.

“Keith -” she tried, her voice upset and laced with worry.

“It’s okay,” Keith interrupted sharply.

Pidge opened her mouth to protest, but Keith cut her off again, softening his voice this time. “Pidge, it’s okay. Really. I don’t want to talk about it right now.”

Pidge’s brows were furrowed, like she was trying to solve a complicated math equation, but she shut her mouth.

“You don’t have to talk about it now, but if you ever want to, just know I’m here, K -”

Pidge cut off suddenly when she saw the look on Keith’s face. His brows were furrowed and his expression was one Pidge had never seen on him before. She didn’t like it. She didn’t like how lost and sad he looked. His eyes drifted away from hers when she didn’t say anything else. Pidge almost shuddered at the deep melancholy that radiated out from one of her oldest friends.

There was a long awkward and tense silence as Pidge fumbled for something else to say. What was something that was guaranteed to put Keith at ease?

“So…  I was wondering who the worst cryptid was… and I think it’s definitely Mothman” She quipped with a smirk.

“ _What_?” Keith turned abruptly.

Pidge grinned wide after finally getting a reaction out of him. “Yeah, he’s cause he's _so_ _terrifying_. Red eyes and chasing after people may be _scary_ -” She air quoted with her fingers. “ but him squeaking like a mouse? That’s weird as fuck. And honestly kinda lame to be honest.”

“What are you _talking_ about? The Mothman is not the worst cryptid! He’s the _best_ cryptid. And he is _not_ lame. I can't believe that you'd even _say_ that.”

“Keith, _no_ ,” Pidge laughed, throwing her head back dramatically and covering her face with her hands.

“You can’t argue with me on this one, Pidge. The Mothman is definitely the best. Maybe not the scariest, but definitely the best.”

Pidge dropped her hands and rolled her eyes, but let it go. “So, Mothman’s #1 Fan, who do _you_ think the scariest cryptid is, then?

Without hesitation, Keith said, “The scariest cryptid is definitely the Dogman.”

“I didn't think you were afraid of anything,” Pidge said with a raised eyebrow. She was referring to a claim Keith had made after she dared him to jump off the roof of her house a few summers ago.

“I'm not. I'm just saying I think that would be the scariest one, _if_ I was scared of anything.”

“That sounds fake, but okay.”

“Well, what are you afraid of then?” Keith shot back.

“Failure.” Pidge stated matter of factly.

Keith stared at her for a moment before shaking his head and grinning. “Thanks for that reality check Pidge.”

“Sorry,” she said, not sounding very apologetic at all.

There was a short silence between them, before Pidge burst out, “Okay, but, you _have_ to be afraid of SOMETHING.”

“Whatever you say, Pidge.”

Pidge gave him a hard look. “I bet you're scared of something really weird. Like toasters or something”

“Why the fuck would I be scared of toasters?”

“I don't know! It's _your_ brain!”

“Oh my gosh Pidge”

“Hm.. I'm going to ask the group chat”

“Pidge, _no._ ”

His protests were in vain, because at that moment his phone started buzzing with notifications. With a defeated sigh, he pulled out his phone.

 

**_Lettuce Die_ **

 

_Saturday_

_9:20pm_

**Pidgey:** what is keith afraid of

 **Dad:** Girls.

 **Pidgey:** okay true but not /that/ type of fear

 **Queen:** pidge

 **Pidgey** : again true but not what im talking about

 **Pidgey** : I'm thinking it's something weird and irrational like toasters or something

 **Sharkboi** : Why the fuck would keith be afraid of toasters??

 **Knifeman** : Yes thank you Lance! that’s what I said!

 **Sharkboi** : ya know who has a lot of really weird fears?

 **Sharkboi** : Hunk

 **Hunky** : They’re not weird!! They're justified!!

 **Hunky** : guys tell lance these things are freaky!!

 **Hunky** : Suits (like the easter bunny), Claymation, peppa pig, marionettes, cockroaches

 **Sharkboi** : okay there is no way that’s all your fears

 **Hunky** : well of course not! Those are just the irrational ones!

 **Sharkboi** : olay buddy

 **Pidgey** : olay

 **Hunky** : olay

 **Knifeman** : olay

 **RomCom** : olay

 **ShayBae** : olay

 **Queen** : olay

 **Sharkboi** : **OKAY

 **Sharkboi** : jeEz

 **Queen** : cockroaches are understandable

 **Queen** : and so are marionettes those things are terrifying

 **ShayBae** : agreed

 **Hunky** : THANK YOU

 **Hunky** : SEE LANCE

 **Allura** : but

 **Allura** : peppa pig??

 **Hunky** : IM SORRY OKAY BUT SHE SCARES ME

 **Hunky** : SHE TALKS IN THAT ACCENT AND THEN HAS THOSE WEIRD ASS DEAD EYES THAT ARE ANATOMICALLY INCORRECT AND JUST STARE INTO YOUR SOUL

 **Queen** : well okay then

 **ShayBae** : I never knew you were so freaked out by animation

 **Hunky** : its literally just peppa pig

 **Hunky:** and all Claymation

 **Sharkboi** : you forgot to add monkeys

 **Hunky** : THAT IS NOT IRRATIONAL THEY CAN RIP YOUR FACE OFF

 **Pidgey** : that is true

 **Pidgey** : you also forgot furries

 **Hunky** : again

 **Hunky** : THAT IS NOT AN IRRATIONAL FEAR

 **Pidgey:** by that logic shouldnt you be afraid of lance then

 **Sharkboi** : LA:DKNF:SKDL

 **Sharkboi** : THAT WAS ONE TIME PIDGE

 **Sharkboi** : ONE TIME

 **Sharkboi** : WAIT HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW THAT

 **Pidgey** : uhhh

 **Sharkboi** : hUNK

 **Hunky** : Im sorry!

 **Sharkboi** : I S2G -

 **Sharkboi** : I TRUSTED YOU

 **Hunky** : It was an accident!!

 **Sharkboi** : ;jsfn;skdfgn;dkjfn

 **RomCom** : what’s a furries

 **Dad** : Dear God.

 **ShayBae** : you are such a pure bean Rom, don’t ever change

 **Pidgey** : hey hunk aren’t you also afraid of that one demon from insidious

 **Hunky** : THAT FREAKING DEMON IS TERRIFYING™

 **Hunky** : LANCE FORCED ME TO WATCH INSIDIOUS WITH HIM AND I HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO SLEEP WITHOUT MY BATHROOM LIGHT ON SINCE

 **Hunky:** AND DON’T ACT LIKE YOU ARENT SCARED OF IT TOO LANCE

 **Hunky:** YOU SHRIEKED LIKE SHAWN FROM PSYCH

 **Sharkboi:** sTop  eXpOsInG mE

 **ShayBae:** okay I agree

 **ShayBae:** I had nightmares for a week after watching that

 **RomCom:** haha ive never seen a scary movie in my LIFE for that exact reason

 **Hunky:** I wish I could say the same

 **Hunky:** I am SCARRED

 **Knifeman:** that things face makes me laugh every time

 **Sharkboi:** wTF kEith

 **Sharkboi:** are you even human wtf

 **Knifeman:** im going to find a gif hang on

 **Sharkboi:** WAIT KEITH

 **Sharkboi:** THINK ABOUT WHAT YOURE DOING

 **Hunky:** NO KEITH

 **ShayBae:** NO

 **Queen:** NO

 **RomCom:** NOOOO

 **Knifeman:** <<sentgif>>

 **Knifeman:** ha

 **Sharkboi:** FUCKING SHIT KEITH

 **Sharkboi:** SOMETHING IS SERIOUSLY WRONG WITH YOU WTF

 **Knifeman:** I know

 **Hunky:** KEITH WTF

 **Hunky** : IM DELETING THAT

 **ShayBae** : KEITH

 **ShayBae** : hunk just threw his phone across the room and now i want to do the same oh mY GOSH

 **RomCom** : MY EYES

 **Hunky** : WHO THE FUCK GAVE KOETH PERMISSION TO HAVE A SMART PHONE

 **Pidgey** : ……

 **Dad** : I AM BUSY RIGHT NOW

 **Dad** : Can you guys SHUT THE FUCK UP please.

 **Dad:** I put you on mute, but you’re all still so FUCKING LOUD.

 **Knifeman** : oh yeah i forgot youre on a date with adam tonight

 **Knifeman** : no fucking on my bed

 **Pidgey:** oh you guys are finally dating??

 **Pidgey:** use protection ;)

 

_Dad has left the chat_

 

 **Hunky** : OMG SHIRO CURSED

 

Still giggling from Shiro’s episode in the group chat, Keith and Pidge stood and stretched their legs, deciding it was time to start the hunt.

Pidge and Keith finally made it out of the French Quarter, the traffic had gotten even worse as the night wore on. They went back the way they came, looking for the neighborhood they had chosen to start their search. It was near the woods and the infamous Grunch Road. They drove for about 30 minutes before finally finding it. Then, it was just a matter of finding a place to park where they wouldn't get towed. After about five minutes of driving, Pidge suddenly straightened in her seat.

“Keith, turn here!” She commanded.

Keith jerked the steering wheel and pulled into the parking lot of a very sketchy looking park. It also backed up to the forest.

It was perfect.

They drove around and parked in the back, closest to the tree line and mostly out of view from the main road. The last thing they needed was for the cops to break up their cryptid hunting again.

The two of them jumped out of the car. Pidge went to the trunk, flipping it open and immediately yanking out her gear and equipment. Keith looked over all of the gear stuffed to the top of the trunk. There was the usual Official Cryptid Hunters Kit they had made back in middle school along with some of the new high-tech equipment Pidge had been working on. He reached over a couple boxes, picking up what looked like weird goggles as Pidge shoveled a couple of things into a small backpack and slung it over her shoulder.

Keith turned the goggles over in his hands. They looked like a cross between steampunk cosplay goggles and some high tech night vision apparatuses. These were definitely not around in their middle school days.

“These are new.” He said, dangling them from his finger by the strap.

Pidge yelped and leapt forward, snatching the goggles from his hands.

“Be careful with those, you moody breadstick!” she hissed.

Finished reprimanding Keith, Pidge put on the goggles, but pushed them up on her head so she could see. Then, she turned back to frantically rifling through their stuff.

“This is a lot of shit, Pidge.”

“I like to be prepared,” she answered Keith without looking up.

“I can tell.”

“Catch.” Pidge tossed Keith a backpack that was half as big as she was, and he lunged forward to grab it, catching it by the strap. He almost dropped it as soon as he caught it, the weight surprising him.

“What did you put in this, Pidge? Bricks?”

“Ha! No. It's you're equipment for tonight plus some extras just in case. Sleeping bag, flashlight, first aid, the ushe. Because I -”

“Like to be prepared. Yeah, I know. The boy scouts are really missing out on you, Pidge.”

She gave him a look that said ‘ _I can and will murder you in you're sleep if you keep talking_ ’ and then reached up and slammed the trunk shut.

She took off her glasses placing them carefully in her pocket, and then slipped the goggles over her eyes.

“You have a pair in your bag, Keith,” she said, tapping the frames. “Put them on.”

“What are they?”

Pidge sent him a sly grin. “Night vision goggles. Been working on them for a while.”

Keith slid the goggles on. “Holy shit, Pidge. These are amazing.”

“I know. Okay, let's go.”

To get to the forest from where they were, they needed to walk across a creepy looking playground, then they'd be in the tree line.

Keith wasn't scared of much. Experiencing some of the true horror this world had to offer had made the Boogeyman and the Dark seem irrelevant. However, even Keith was feeling uneasy tonight. There was just something in the air. Something… strange. He wondered if Pidge could feel it too? She seemed relaxed enough. Keith debated telling her about his uneasiness, but immediately felt stupid. He was just being paranoid.

As they walked, a faint eerie squeaking sound broke the silence.

As they passed the swingsets, Keith nearly jumped out of his skin. A kid who looked about nine years old was staring at them blankly and swinging back and forth on the swing.

“Uh, Pidge?”

“Hmm?” Pidges hummed, not paying attention to her surroundings as she fiddled with one of her devices.

“That kid's staring at us.”

“What? Oh. Well, we do look kinda weird, Keith.”

Keith waved and offered an awkward smile as they passed, but the kid had no reaction. He just continued to stare at Keith, slowly swinging.

Keith shuddered involuntarily and quickly turned away. Keith could feel the kids eyes on the back of his neck until he and Pidge turned behind the restroom building.

And Shiro wondered why Keith didn't like kids.

Keith and Pidge ventured beyond the treeline. Thankfully, there was a well-worn path through the brush and trees that was probably made by animals and small children from the park exploring. The trail was narrow - forcing them to walk single file with Pidge in the lead. Branches clawed against his face and hair  and clothes as they walked. They stepped through the woods for a several minutes in silence. The darkness was all encompassing and the sounds of animals and insects seemed unnaturally loud in the stillness.

Keith craned his neck back to look at the sneak peeks of the starlit sky through the mess of branches. He looked back down just in time to notice Pidge in a dead stop in front of him. He halted, albeit a bit clumsily, nearly slamming into Pidge.

He peered over her shoulder to see her staring intently at her phone, at that same moment, his own phone started buzzing in his pocket. He fumbled with his equipment for an awkward second, slipping off his goggles as he dug in his pocket for his phone. He swiped the passcode and was greeted by a shitton of messages.

 

**_Lettuce Die_ **

 

_Saturday_

_10:04pm_

**Queen** : so keith and pidge have been kind of mia

 **Queen** :  and im honestly kinda terrified

 **Queen** : What are you two up to?

 **Hunky** : Allura why tf are you awake? It's like 3am where you are

 **Queen** : I like to get up early

 **Pidgey** : first - allura you terrify me sometimes

 **Queen** : :)

 **Pidgey** : second - Keith and I are cryptid hunting

 **Hunky** : oh my gosh

 **Queen** : cryptid hunting??????

 **Hunky** : I can't believe you two still do that

 **Hunky** : and yeah it's when they basically try to find cryptids

 **Allura** : what are… cryptids??

 **Hunky** : fictional creatures that Pidge and Keith are obsessed with. Like bigfoot and the loch Ness monster

 **Queen** : ohhh

 **Pidgey** : THEYRE REAL

 **Pidgey** : AND THEYRE OUT THERE

 **Knifeman** : those are the true facts y'all

 **Pidgey** : I… kind of want to disown you now Keith

 **Knifeman** : why?

 **Queen** : y'all

 **ShayBae** : omg

 **Hunky** : wheres lance? He'd be having a field day with this

 **RomCom** : yeah idk? He just kinda disappeared suddenly

 **Hunky** : I'll text him hang on

 

**_Hopeful Romantics_ **

 

_Saturday_

_10:05pm_

**Hunk-o-Heart** : buddy you okay?

 **Hunk-o-Heart** : you've kinda just been ghosting the gc?

 **Hunk-o-Heart** : lance?

 **Loverboy Lance** : sorry busy ttyl

 **Hunk-o-Heart** : okay…

 

**_Lettuce Die_ **

 

_Saturday_

_10:06pm_

**Hunky** : yeah so he's acting weird

 **Hunky** : I'll talk to him later

 **Hunky** : so where are you guys

 **Knifeman** : new Orleans

 **Hunky** : NEW ORLEANS?????

 **Hunky** : AT TEN OCLOCK AT NIGHT?????

 **Hunky** : THATS SO DANGEROUS

 **Hunky** : YOU TWO COULD GET MURDERED OR WORSE

 **Queen** : expelled

 **Hunky** : NO

 **Pidgey** : hunk it's fine!

 **Pidgey** : we've done this before

 **Hunky** : wHAT

 **Hunky** : WHAT IF YOU GET JUMPED

 **Pidgey** : Keith has his knife, it'll be fine

 **Pidgey** : plus we're in a neighborhood

 **Knifeman** : well actually we're in the woods right now

 **Pidgey** : Keith!

 **Hunky** : you're in the WOODS????????

 **ShayBae** : hunk is right

 **Hunky** : oh my gosh they're going to die

 **ShayBae** : new Orleans is very dangerous, you two be careful

 **Pidgey** : we always are :)

 **Hunky** : no you aren't

 **Queen** : no you aren't

 **Knifeman** : no we aren't

 **Pidgey** : wow

 

“Keith put your phone up. We’re cryptid hunting. Bonding time and all that jazz.”

Keith snapped his head up to see Pidge already walking again, not even sparing him a glance.

“You started it!” he complained, following after her.

“Yeah, well, now I’m finishing it. We got a lot of ground to cover.”

They treaded on down the trail. It was so dark. Keith tripped over a root on the path. Pidge must have heard the grunt behind her because she whirled around immediately.

“Put on your goggles! For Christ’s sake, Keith.”  Pidge stomped towards him, snatching the goggles from around his neck and holding them up in front of his face. He gingerly took them from her hands before letting out a loud scoff.

“Damn. And _I'm_ the moody breadstick?”

“Sorry.” Pidge sighed in remorse. “This is our last time cryptid hunting together. I want it to go well. Don't need you busting your face,” she huffed with a laugh. Her teeth glowed bright green and her eyes were hidden by the reflection of light off her glasses in Keith's view through the goggles.

“This won't be the last, Pidge. Don't worry.”

Pidge’s smile turned soft. Keith smiled back, but then he noticed something that had him frowning.

“Wait, you aren’t wearing _your_ goggles.”

“I already have night vision,” Pidge said with a devious grin.

“Gremlin.”

Giving a small laugh and a nod, Pidge reached in her backpack pulling out what looked to Keith like a mini satellite dish on a stick and headphones. “We’re almost out of the woods anyway.” She then handed him a small device, and pointed towards the screen.

“Okay Keith. This little thing detects sound waves. Whenever I point my parabolic dish in the direction of sound, I should be able to hear it. But just in case I don’t, this detector will show the sound waves on the screen.”

“I got it. I just tell you if it’s picking up sound?”

“Yup.”

Pidge angled her microphone towards the direction they were walking, putting her free hand up to her headphones, before carrying on.

It wasn't long before they had reached the edge of the woods and entered the neighborhood. They had been wandering up and down a couple of streets when they reached one with a dead end sign. Only a single street light and the moon lit up the otherwise dark neighborhood. Keith could see enough, he figured. The goggles were messing with his depth perception anyway. With a glance at Pidge, he slid the goggles up on his forehead, hoping she wouldn’t notice.  

The two had been searching the neighborhood for awhile now, but still nothing. Pidge’s mic and the detector had picked up something every now and then, but nothing out of the ordinary. A couple of crows here and an abnormal gust of chilly wind there. To Keith, it seemed like they were just wandering around aimlessly, but Pidge insisted she knew how to find the Grunch.

Keith felt more and more uneasy as they walked down the street. Nothing creepier than an old, most likely haunted, New Orleans neighborhood in the middle of the night. Not that he believed in ghosts or anything. He hadn’t in a long time.

As if on cue, a mournful howl tore through the neighborhood, shortly followed by a piercing, strangled shriek that sounded like a cat stuck in a wood chipper.

Keith could tell the noise was deafening in Pidge's headphones by the way she jumped a foot in the air. Keith felt chills snake down his spine, his hair standing on end.

“What in the _actual fuck?”_

“What _was_ that?”

Just then the street light that had been casting a sickly orange glow across the street, flickered and died, throwing everything into darkness.

“Oh, _fuck_ no.” Keith heard Pidge hiss in the total darkness. Keith agreed wholeheartedly.

Keith pulled back on his night vision goggles and, once he did, the entire world lit up in green light. He turned and almost leapt out of his own skin when Pidge popped into his vision. She truly looked like a gremlin with the goggles and the oversized backpack and her hair sticking up all over the place like a madwoman.

Keith looked past her and he felt his throat constrict at what he saw.

He heard Pidge suck in a breath. “ _Holy shit._ ”

About fifteen yards away a hulking mass of…   _something_ was slumped on the ground. It was furry like an animal. Hovering over it was something lanky and malformed, though it was hard to make out. As they watched, the mass on the ground shifted and let out a horrible moan. A _human_ one.

“Is it - _holy fuck_ \- Keith is that thing _eating_ someone?” Pidge sounded as horrified as Keith felt.

“Pidge we’ve got to do something! We have to help them!”

“Keith, wait!” Pidge snapped, but her warning fell flat as Keith sprinted past her. Cursing, Pidge ran after him, stumbling and dropping her walkie-talkie. It hit the ground with that scratchy plastic on asphalt sound and it let out a high pitched beep. Keith skidded to a halt as the beast looming over the prone figure suddenly jerked upright. Pidge slammed into Keith’s back.

Bright green eyes flashed in their direction. Keith's heart stuttered in his chest as he watched the horrific figure that _had_ to be the “Grunch” take off running in the opposite direction. Ignoring Pidge’s impressively vulgar vocabulary, Keith stepped closer. There was the person hunched over on the ground, curled in a fetal position. They were covered in what appeared to be a thick fur coat.

“Are they dead?” Pidge staged whispered, materializing at Keith's elbow.

In answer, Keith bent down, balancing on his toes and preparing to spring away at the first hint of danger. He reached out, poking the body slightly with three fingers through the fur coat. Nothing.

Together, they rolled the figure to their back as gently as they could. At that moment, that cursed street lamp flickered back to life. The figure - or really the woman - was covered in dirt and gravel. Her face was badly scraped and bloody.

Keith wasn't sure what he was expecting. Whatever it was, it was definitely not her eyes shooting open nor the blood curdling scream that rang out of her mouth. Already scared shitless, that was apparently the last straw. Pidge and Keith both screamed at the top of their lungs, seeing the sight before them. They all sat there. Screaming at each other. The old lady covered in blood and dirt, and Keith and Pidge in their no doubtedly terrifying gear and night vision goggles.

“Please! You’ve already taken me once! My husband too! Wasn’t that enough?” the old lady sobbed.

Pidge and Keith exchanged glances, both still catching their breath from the adrenaline.

“Wha-” They both breathed simultaneously. Slowly taking off their goggles, they both stared at the woman.

“Are you okay ma’am?” Pidge gently bent down to help her up.

“Humans? Oh, thank heaven!” She cried putting a hand to her heart before reaching up to her face. “Oh no. Um, hun? Can you be a dear and find me my glasses?”

Keith looked down at Pidge who looked at him expectantly with eyebrows raised, before motioning _help her_ with a tilt of her head. Oh. It took Keith roughly twenty seconds of searching to find them several feet away, lenses scratched and the frame bent.

“Uh, here,” Keith said, handing the glasses to the woman.

“Thank you kindly, dear,” the woman said, taking her glasses from him and proceeding to place them upside down at the tip of her nose. “Much better.” She smiled at Keith, revealing several missing teeth. Pidge helped the woman to her feet.

“Okay. Well, now that we know you’re okay, I guess we better be leaving. _Right_ , _Keith_?” Pidge hissed.

“Yeah, right. Have.. a nice night.”

“Oh, wait, dears,” the woman called, grabbing hold of Keith’s jacket with gnarled fingers. Keith somehow refrained from ripping his arm out of her grip - barely. She continued, “You didn’t happen to see where William ran off to, do you?”

“Who?”

“My sweet William. He’s about this high,” she placed her hand just below her shoulder point. “He walks on all fours and he’s grey and covered in shaggy fur. He doesn’t bark much - more of a howler really.”

Oh. So _that’s_ what they saw - and heard apparently. So much for having evidence on the Grunch.

“Wait, William is your dog?”

“William is my _companion_. We do not use such derogatory terms in this household. Do you understand, sonny?”

Keith very much wanted to point out that this wasn’t her house, or a house at all for that matter - they were in the middle of the street - but Keith was honestly too uncomfortable to say anything other than “Yes, ma’am.”

“Have you seen my William?”

“Um… no. Ma’am.”

The woman’s sharp eyes suddenly cut straight over to Pidge. “Have you, little boy?”

Keith covered his laugh with a violent cough. Pidge grimaced. “No.”

“Would you two be ever so kind and help me search for him?” The woman’s grip tightened, her fingernails digging into Keith’s arm. She stared up at Keith with pleading eyes.

“Oh, he must be so scared. He gets lost so easily. But it’s not his fault this time, you know. This time - he’s a hunter, my William, - he saw a rabbit and just had to chase after it. I tried to hold onto him. I didn’t want him to get lost, you see, it’s so late and he’s scared of the dark.”

The woman began waddling down the road, still rambling on and on and dragging Keith with her. Keith and Pidge exchanged a quick look, before reluctantly following after her.

“Here, Willy! Here, Willy! Be a good boy and come to mommy!”

Keith flinched as the woman’s voice became shriller.

He thinks he hears Pidge mutter under her breath “ _Oh dear God, why me_ ” but it could have just been his innermost thoughts leaking out of his ears.

It felt like hours since Pidge and Keith had accidently happened upon the old woman. However, according to Pidge it had only been 45 minutes. Keith was tired. So tired. The old woman hadn’t stopped talking the entire time. Between periodically calling for her dog, she’d regaled them stories of her childhood, her late husbands ( _plural_ ), and her many, _many_ pets. She also had quite a lot to say about her… _adventurous_ teen years. Let’s just say that Keith knew way more than he wanted to about her, and he kind of wished he no longer had ears.

The old woman suddenly stopped, causing Keith to stumble into her slightly - but she didn’t even move; she was as steady as a block of granite. Pidge slammed into Keith from behind at the sudden stop. The woman didn’t even seem to notice the collision. She just prattled on, either oblivious or not caring.

“Oh, look at that, we’ve made the circle. My home is just a few houses down from here. Why don’t we stop for a break, hm? You poor dears having been working so hard to help me,” she crooned, patting Keith’s arm fondly with her right hand. Her left hand was still holding onto Keith’s forearm in a deathgrip.

They continued walking and Keith thought this might be a good opportunity for escape. They had done their civic duty and brought the woman home - it’d be okay if they left now, right?

“That’s really alright there’s no -” Keith started, but was cut off by a shrill cry right in his ear. He flinched and instinctively tried to jerk away, but the woman’s grip was like iron - not a finger slipped.

“OH! Look! He was here the whole time! What a good boy, he is! William knew just what to do. What a smart boy!”

The old woman finally, _finally_ released Keith’s arm as she hobbled toward one of the many shotgun houses on the street. She was far too nimble for a person her age as she climbed up the porch stairs. As Keith and Pidge moved closer, they saw a huge mass of dark grey fur sprawled out on the porch, taking up more than half of the space.

“WILLIAM!” the woman cried, throwing herself down next to the animal and embracing it. The massive hound seemed less than enthused, but took her fussing in stride, not moving an inch as she bestowed hugs and kisses to his head.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Keith seethed under his breath. He was quickly losing patience with this situation. “We were drug around in the dark by a crazy lady for nearly an hour just for the damn dog to be at her _house_.”

“ _Shut up_ , she’ll hear you,” Pidge snapped back with equal ferocity, jabbing Keith in the ribs with a sharp elbow.

“Oh! You boys _must_ meet William! William! These are your brave rescuers! Say hello!”

With her last words, the old woman beckoned them forward with one hand, while the other hand tugged on the hounds collar. At her prompting, the hound unfolded his legs and stood. Keith and Pidge both took several steps back in surprise. The animal was much larger than they had thought, his back nearly reaching the hunched old woman’s shoulders. Its legs were long and muscular and it was covered in this shaggy, matted fur. It looked like the hound hadn’t been washed in decades.

“Holy shit,” Pidge whispered in an awed and slightly terrified voice.

Keith had to agree. That was a huge ass fucking dog.

“Well, come on. Don’t be shy, now,” the woman said, gesturing for Pidge and Keith to go up there.

“Keith, come on, this is our chance, let’s make a run for it.”

“What if the dog chases us, Pidge? What then?”

“You really think she’d sick her dog on us?”

“I don’t know! What do _you_ think?”

“Is everything okay over there, y’all?”

“Yes, ma’am. Be there in a moment.” Keith said with a strained smile.

“Listen, Pidge. Let’s just play along a bit and hopefully we can escape on good terms with her and the hellhound, okay?”

“Yeah, okay. I’m not touching that monster though. I’m still not entirely sure it’s _not_ the Grunch.”

Reluctantly, they made their way up the steps.

The woman smiled delightedly at them, like they had just offered her two dog-friendly tickets to Paris.

“Boys, meet my lovely William. William meet these two lovely little boys who helped me find you. They’re my good luck charms now.”

“Hi,” Pidge said, staring at the dog with wide eyes like it was straight out of some horror flick.

William just stared at them. He didn’t even make a move to lick them.

“Why don’t you pet him? He won’t bite. He’s very docile - like his daddy.” Keith didn’t really want to pick apart everything very wrong with those statements.

Carefully, like he was approaching a bomb, he reached out and placed a hand tentatively on the beast’s mangy coat. He heard Pidge’s breathing hitch behind him. He tensed, freezing in place and waiting for the dog to bite his face off. The dog didn’t move, just stared at Keith with huge soulful brown eyes. Keith relaxed and gently petted William. His fur feeling just as disgusting and rough as Keith imagined it would be. It was slimy and wet too. He was going to take at least three showers tonight, and possibly chop off his hand.

After a few more moments of petting the hound and the woman creepily watching him do so, he retracted his hand and decided it was time to make the escape.

“It was great to meet you, ma’am, and your… uh…. William, but we really have to get going.”  Keith turned and placed his hands on Pidge’s shoulders, guiding her away.

“Oh, no!” the woman protested adamantly. “You _must_ come in, dears! Let me make you some tea! I just made a fresh batch of peanut butter cookies earlier today, too!”

“Peanut butter?”  Pidge turned around, wrestling out of Keith's grip.

“ _Pidge_ .” Keith warned lowly in her ear. “ _Really_? We just had coffee and beignets not more than two hours ago!” Keith whispered. “And aren’t you the one that wanted to leave?”

“Aren’t you the one who wanted me to play along?” she threw back at him. Then, in a softer voice, she whispered, “And, Keith, besides, the poor lady got drug across the asphalt by her dog. She’s probably concussed.”

They both turn around to look at her. She was currently bent down petting William as he licked the blood and dirt off her face.

“Oh, _William_. This is not the time,” She said in a low voice, subtly glance to where Pidge and Keith were standing.

“ _Yeah. Or insane!"_ Keith hissed in Pidge’s ear.

“Really, I insist!  Let William and I thank you for helping us!”

“Pidge.” Keith tried one last time.

“The Shiro Voice only works over text, sorry but you don’t have his timbre. You can’t pull it off, Keithy boy. Also, there’s cookies. _Peanut butter_ cookies.”

“Don’t call me that,” Keith snapped, a little harsher than he meant to. But it didn’t matter because Pidge had already disappeared inside the house.

“Dammit, Pidge,” Keith muttered moodily under his breath, forcing his way through the door behind them.

~~ ☼ ~~

 

They followed the old woman through the doorway the dog pushing Keith from behind. The house smelled like how you would expect an old ladies house to smell like. The floor was old wood that squeaked with every step. The walls covered in wallpaper which was peeling off in some spots.

“Have a seat on the couch.”  

As they walked along the hallway into the living space, Keith and Pidge stared at the pictures on the wall to their left. There were so many. The frames ranged in sizes from a foot in height to pocket sized and covered the wall nearly from floor to ceiling. The people were all ages - infants, middle aged adults, teenagers, college students, elderly people - all smiling, frozen in time.

“Are these people in the pictures your family?” Pidge asked.

“No.” The woman answered bluntly with a smile, turning to walk into the kitchen and leaving them standing in the living room.

“These must be all the people she’s killed.” Pidge laughed in a whisper once the lady left the room.

Keith elbowed her in the side.

They stood for a moment, just looking around the room. Keith wandered over to the mantel, looking at all the nic-nacks covered in a thick layer of dust. He noticed a Voodoo doll stuck with pins, leaning against a plastic, Tinkerbell music box. Next to that was green plushie of a stereotypical green alien, and next to that a Buddha statue. There were a lot of other strange items clustered together on the mantel

“Interesting,” Pidge said as she came to stand next to him.

“That’s one word for it.”

“I wonder if she’s a Voodoo witch.”

Keith looked sharply at Pidge. She had a gleam in her eye as she raised her eyebrow, a wicked grin flashing across her mouth.

“I know that look. What are you planning?”

“Why don’t we… take a look around? While she’s preoccupied with the cookies.”

The old woman’s voice was slightly muffled by the wall separating the living room and kitchen, but it sounded like she was talking to someone. Probably William.

Keith released a breath, resisting the urge to groan. “This is a bad idea.”

Pidge beamed. “Why not take the opportunity to snoop around this cooky witch’s house?” Pidge whispered, waggling her eyebrows at Keith as she walked over to a door on the far side of the room. “This really can't get any weirder.”

Keith wasn't so sure about that.

With light steps, they both snuck over to the door. It had a weird keyhole and a latch on the outside of the door as if it could be locked with a padlock, but there wasn’t one.

“I wonder…” Pidge slowly reached for the handle. Keith held his breath, hand on Pidge’s shoulder ready to pull her back, when pidge turned the knob.

“Huh. It’s unlocked.”

Pidge slowly pulled the door open. The smell of mold and fetid air burned their noses. They slowly stepped into the room.

The room was about as big as a walk in closet. Pidge and Keith took another step inside the room, Keith flicking on his phone’s flashlight. Keith swept the beam around the room. His skin crawling at what he saw.

One wall was just a shelf - filled with what looked like handmade figurines. The opposite wall was covered in missing people newspaper articles. Pictures of UFOs covered every other available space - both printed images and newspaper clippings. More doll-like figurines were arranged in a circle on the floor at the bottom of the closet. In the center of them was a small pentagram drawn in chalk, a bronze dish sitting in the center. Inside the dish, incense burned.

“ _What the fu_ -”

“Oh, my.” A croaky voice came from behind them. The two whipped around. Pidge let out a small, high pitched shriek.

“You two aren’t supposed to be back here.” The lady smiled.

“We are so sorry. We were just -”

“Oh, its alright. I remember what it is to be young and curious. You’re probably wondering what all this is. Why don't we move into the living room to discuss this?”

Pidge and Keith nodded vigurously and skirted around the woman as they moved back to the couch.

The woman shut the door and followed them, taking a seat in the arm chair.

A plate of cookies was on the coffee table between the chair and couch.

“Go on and sit, dears!”

Keith and Pidge sat.

Keith tried not to think about all the diseases he was probably getting from the dust motes and mites and how knows else that was on the old sofa.

“Take a cookie!”

When Pidge didn't make a move to take one, suddenly looking a lot less enthusiastic about the peanut butter cookies, Keith nudged her. She mechanically reached out and took one, holding it as one might hold a grenade.

The woman stared at Pidge in silence. Slowly, Pidge raised the cookie and nibbled it slightly.

The woman smiled brightly and clapped her gnarled hands together, causing them both to flinch.

“I bet you two want to know about the aliens.”

“The what now?” Pidge asked, setting it down on the sofa.

“The aliens,” the woman said, looking at them expectantly, as if _they_ were the crazy ones. “That’s why you're here, isn't it? You two must be the documentors of the paranormal and aliens, yes?”

“Uh..” Keith and Pidge shared a look.

“We're here because we helped you look for your dog…”

The woman looked at them blankly.

“My… dog? I don't have a dog, dear.”

“What about William?”

“Oh! William! Of course! Well as I said before, little boy, he is not a dog. He is my _companion_.”

This woman was _actually_ insane. They were in an insane woman’s house right now. Eating her cookies.

“I think it's actually time for us to go…”

“But don't you want to hear about the aliens?”

“Not really,” Keith said.

“We'd love to, but uh… we heard rumors there was going to be a sighting at  the … uh … place..” Pidge tried, a bit more diplomatically.

“So we need to go. Now.” Keith finished for her.

Keith grabbed Pidge's arm and stood, pulling her up with him.

The woman stood, a ravenous look in her eye. “An alien sighting tonight, you say?”

“Yeah.”

“I think I'll come with you. I’ve been trying to track down those aliens for decades. They took my last husband from me, you know. Abducted us both. I barely managed to escape with my life. Stay right there while I go get my things.”

The woman waddled into the freaky shrine room, shutting the door behind her.

Keith took one look at Pidge and fucking ran. He completely forgot about the dog, he just knew that they needed to _go_. Together, the two of them sprinted out of the house slamming the door behind them, and took off down the street. Neither one of them looked back, nor did they stop to breathe until they had crashed through the forest, returned to the park, and slammed the doors to the truck shut.

Only then did they pause, sucking in huge gulps of air as they sat in the truck, the keys still in Keith's grip.

Keith took one look at Pidge and laughed. Pidge joined him, the two of them giggling hysterically.

God, Keith hadn't laughed like this since…

Just like that his laughs subsided, the smile slipping from his face.

He would have loved this.

_Stop it, Keith._

Thankfully, Pidge didn't notice his sudden mood shift.

Still chuckling to herself, she pulled off her gear, setting it gently on the floorboards, and checked her phone, the bright light illuminating her face.

Keith started the engine.

“Jeez.”

“What?”

“Hunk like spammed the chat.”

Keith reached into the pocket of his leggings for his phone to find it empty. His phone wasn’t there. He patted his other pocket and the pockets to his jacket.

“Uh.. where’s my phone?” Keith hurriedly searched in between the seats.

“You _lost_ it?”

Pidge began searching the floorboards too before turning to Keith.

“Did you have it with you in the house?”

Keith thought for a moment, his face paled when he realized he had had it out at the alien lady’s house. He doesn’t remember putting it back at in his pocket. He slammed his head back against the seats headrest.

“Yep. Used it for the flashlight.”

“Are you _kidding_ me?” Pidge started to open the car door before Keith reached over and slammed it shut again.

“Are _you_ kidding _me_ ? You really want to go back into that house? For a _phone_?”

Pidge gulped, eyes filled horror no doubt recalling what happened while they were in there.

“Y-yeah, you're right. Step on it.”

Keith didn't need to be told twice. Keith peeled out of the parking lot like a bat out of hell, wheels squealing and Pidge cursing loudly as she held onto the door. Keith had them on the interstate and heading home in record timing.

They were on the road for a while before a sudden realization had him groaning loudly.

“Shiro's going to fucking kill me.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: A lot of the group chat material is based off of actual conversations Bailey and I have had in our plethora of group chats (the insidious chat is one of them)


	5. The One with Lance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~ Special thanks to the lovely Bailey for all her help and for the beautiful concept art at the end! ~~
> 
> The langst has arrived - and its gonna go down hill from here (but it will get better i swear!). I'm sorry that this crack fic has become so angsty, but Bailey and I got some great ideas soooooooo here's the angst
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this chapter! Thank you so much for reading and sticking with us! Thank you for all of the kudos and comments!
> 
> ~~ Minor TW for some bullying - it starts and ends with the three sun page break if you wanna skip ~~~

 

Chapter 5

 

The One With Lance

 

“You’re cheating!”

 

“Am not!”

 

“I just saw you take a $500 from the bank!”

 

Lance watched in amusement as his siblings bickered over the board. He was usually right there with them in the middle of it, but tonight, his heart wasn’t really in it.

 

When they had declared they were having a family game night as their last hurrah before they left tomorrow, he had almost declined. But… his family would have been worried. More worried than they already were. He hadn’t really been feeling himself at all today. He knew the others noticed. He felt the worried glances and stares at the back of his neck when his family thought he wasn’t paying attention. They’d been watching him all night. So, instead of downright refusing to play which would have been immediate red flags, Lance just decided to lose early. With such a competitive family, purposefully losing was pretty easy. Lance was down to his last few dollars when Rachel and Veronica’s argument broke out.

 

Lance sat on the arm of the couch, his elbow resting on his leg and his chin resting in his hand. He was surprised his mama hadn’t scolded him yet for disrespecting the furniture. She seemed too caught up the drama of their game to really notice.

 

His family was all gathered in the living room of his grandparents’ house. It wasn’t a very large living room, so they were practically all on top of each other. They all hovered around the coffee table where they had set up the game board, with the exception of his grandfather and grandmother who sat in their recliners near the fireplace, watching the game with bemused interest. The game had started about an hour ago, so no one had gone bankrupt yet, though Marco was getting close. Veronica and Rachel were dominating the board as usual. They were vicious when it came to monopoly.

 

“I did not!”

 

“Then, where the hell did it come from! You only had one three seconds ago!”

 

“It had fallen on the floor!”

 

“Bullshit!”

 

“¡ _Oye_ ! ¡ _Cuida tu lenguaje_!” Lance’s mama’s voice cut through Veronica and Rachel bickering. They looked sheepish for a few seconds before they were back at each other’s throats as Rachel refused to relinquish the $500.

 

“Lance! _Mi hermano favorito_!” Lance jolted upright, caught off guard by suddenly being addressed. Marco and Luis let out simultaneous hurt exclamations of “Hey!” but Rachel continued over them as if they hadn’t spoken. “You’ve been watching the whole game! I didn’t steal anything, right?” Rachel was staring at him with puppy dog eyes.

 

He felt his face flush a bit as the entire room’s attention turned onto him. He hadn’t been really paying attention to the game and now they’d all know it. The room suddenly felt too hot. He needed air.

 

Lance rubbed at the back of his neck as he slid off the arm of the couch onto his feet. “Uh… I don’t know, but if Rachel’s track record is anything to go by, I’d say that she probably did steal it -”

 

“ _Hey_!”

 

“- sorry, Rache, it’s true. Anyway, it’s my turn right?” Lance leaned over, reaching across his mama and rolling the dice, then moving his pawn down the board. Like he had thought it would, the pawn landed on one of the spots Rachel owned. Without even asking, Lance knew it would cost more than he had.

 

“Well, it looks like you bankrupted me, Rache. Darn,” Lance placed a hand on his hip and snapped his fingers. He froze. _Why the fuck did he do that? He looked even more suspicious now._

 

Face flaming, Lance straightened and cleared his throat, trying to ignore the way everyone was staring at him. “I’m going out from some air. Night, everyone.”

 

The room was quiet as Lance whirled around and slunk out of the house, feeling the eyes of about ten people on his back as he left.

 

~~ ☼ ~~

 

Lance sat spread out in the sand at the edge of the shore, the waves tickling his feet with every crash and pull.

 

The ocean breeze sent goosebumps racing across his bare arms. The weather at night is such a stark contrast to the burning heat during the day. He should have brought his jacket. He shifted, pulling his legs to his chest and settling his crossed arms over his knees. Lance rested his chin on his forearm and closed his eyes for a moment, letting the sounds wash over him and calm his racing heart.

 

Absentmindedly, he reached under the neckline of his shirt and fiddled with his necklace. He ran his fingers along the pendant - a shark tooth set in an oval of wood, worn smooth by the many years he’d owned it. He’d bought the handmade souvenir from this very beach actually. Lance ran his fingers over the beads on either side the tooth. Though he wasn’t looking, he knew the beads’ red and blue paint was chipped and fading away. Sort of like his memories of the person he’d originally bought it for.

 

He rubbed a hand over his eyes.

 

“It’s beautiful tonight. _Muchas estrellas_.”

 

Lance nearly lept out of his skin. The peaceful night was shattered by his high-pitched squeal of surprise. He whirled to see Rachel standing above him, the moonlight illuminating her amused expression.

 

“Holy crow, Rache! You scared the life out of me!”

 

Rachel just snorted and plopped down in the sand beside him.

 

“What happened with your game?”

 

“Ehh, it fell apart after your weirdass grand exit. After you _ratted me out_ , they declared me a cheat and kicked me out. Now Ronnie might as well have won since they kicked out the only real competition.” Rachel gave a miserable sounding sigh that was too dramatic to be real. “It was humiliating. I blame you.”

 

“Noted.”

 

They sat in comfortable silence for a while. The two of them just watching the waves and the stars whirling above them. There were so many stars. He never saw a night sky like this in Florida. It was only here that the sky just seemed so… _awake_.

 

Lance's eyes automatically read the sky like a book, identifying different constellations that his grandfather had taught him when he was a little kid.

 

He remembered going home every year to a sky in Cocoa that was entirely different. Even though this sky in Cuba was magnificent, he still could never help missing the sky back home.

 

“You okay?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“You sure? You know you can talk to me, right?”

 

“Of course. Why would you think I wouldn’t?” Lance looked at her, eyebrows raised.

 

“It’s just - you’ve been a little distant lately,” Rachel started hesitantly.

 

Lance darted his eyes away again - staring back at the sea but not really seeing it. “It - this time of year is really hard for me. You know that.”

 

“Yeah, I know, Lance. But this time feels… different. I can’t explain it, but it feels like it’s worse this time.”

 

Lance exhaled loudly and tilted his head back. It was a few moments later before he responded.

 

“Pidge - Hunk’s science friend - added us to a group chat, and -”

 

“So _that’s_ why you’ve been practically glued to your phone lately.”

 

Lance glared at her. “Don’t interrupt. Anyway, Pidge added us to a group chat with her other friends and, well, one of her friends is named Keith.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“And he and Pidge are on a cryptid hunt right now.”

 

“ _Oh_.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Lance fidgeted with his necklace.

 

He felt Rachel’s eyes on him. “There’s something else.”

 

Yeah. There was. Rachel was definitely onto him. Call it twin-tuition or the fact that Rachel could read Lance like a book. No secrets between them.

 

“ _Nymatextedme_.” He said it in a rush, afraid that if he didn’t say it now, then he never would be able to.

 

“Whoah, slow down Lance I can’t understand you. what?”

 

“Nyma texted me.”

 

The change in Rachel was suddenly a huge 180, Lance swore the temperature dropped 10 degrees as Rachel’s tone turned icy with rage. “ _What_?”

 

“Nyma texted me a few hours ago. I haven’t responded yet.” He added quickly at seeing the look on her face.

 

“Wait, what do you mean _yet_?”

 

“Well, I mean, I have to text her something eventually.”

 

“You don't have to text that _puta_ anything Lance. You stay away from her. Delete her number from your phone. Wait, no, better yet, just block her number.”

 

“Rachel calm down, oh my gosh. I’m not a little 9th grader anymore okay? I can handle myself.”

 

Rachel made a skeptical humming noise in the back of her throat. “Yesterday you cried for 15 minutes because Marco ate the last garlic knot.”

 

“Hey that's not fair! He knows those are my favorite! And we’re leaving tomorrow so Abuelita won't have time to make more.”

 

Rachel laughed outright.

 

“Stop mocking my pain!”

 

That only made her laugh harder and Lance shoved her shoulder, knocking her sideways into the sand.

 

“Seriously, though. Are you going to be okay?”

 

Lance sighed, sobering and staring back out at the waves. “I don’t know.”

 

They were quiet for a few minutes, letting the night sounds of the beach fill the silence.

 

“You should come back inside. A little more family _fun_ might help you take your mind off things.” Rachel bumped his shoulder with her own. “I think we're gonna start one more game before everyone calls it a night.”

 

Rachel stood, brushing the sand off her shorts. She was watching him expectantly, waiting for his answer.

 

Lance wanted more than anything to jump up, challenge her to a rematch, and race her back to the house, most likely getting splinters in his bare feet over their miniature boardwalk. He just… didn’t have the energy tonight. He was drained and really just wanted to be alone.

 

“Maybe later.” He said quietly, placing his chin on his knees and wrapping his arms around his legs.

 

Rachel sighed quietly, whispering, “ _Las cosas mejorarán._ _Te quiero, hermanito._ ”

 

Lance felt Rachel brush his shoulder lightly before walking back to the house. He listened to hear walk away until her footfalls were drowned out by the waves.

 

~~ ☼ ~~ ☼ ~~ ☼ ~~

 

Lance stared up at the sky. It was an incredibly bright blue. It was as blue as a robin’s egg. Fluffy white clouds dotted the sky, but they were too small to make any interesting shapes. Lance threaded his hands behind his head. This was his favorite part of the school day: recess.

A face appeared in Lance’s vision. It was a boy with poop brown hair that laid flat against his head. He was absurdly large for a first grader. Lance thought that this probably wasn’t his first time taking first grade. It was the mean boy - Lance thought his name was Jimmy or something. The one who kept making fun of the way Lance spoke. Two other boys also appeared in Lance’s line of sight - they were Jimmy’s friends.

“What’re you doing on the ground?”

Lance knew that if he said something he was likely to be teased for the way he sounded. However, he was also likely to be teased if he didn’t speak at all.

“Cloud watching.” Lance said, pointing at the sky.

Jimmy snickered at him, his friends joining in. Lance felt his blood boil. “That’s for babies. Are you a baby? Is that why you talk so funny?”

Lance tried to ignore them like his Mami and teacher had suggested since saying something before didn’t work, but the kids didn’t seem to like that at all. A skinny, snotty-nosed kid kicked dirt directly onto his face. The dirt cloud billowed around him. Lance sat up, coughing hard as he breathed in the dirt.

“Hey, look! He blends right in now!” the kid cackled gleefully, the rest of the little gang laughing with him.

Lance felt tears welling up, but he refused to let them fall. No telling what they’d say to him if they saw him cry. No longer able to just sit and take this, Lance decided to make his escape. He scrambled to his feet and tried to push past the three boys, but was roughly shoved to the ground. Lance let out an audible “ _oof_ ” as his butt and back hit the dirt.

“Are you going to cry like a baby, too?” Jimmy grabbed Lance’s shirt, hauling him to his feet. Lance tried to pry his fingers away, but his stubby fingers had a grip like iron. Jimmy shook Lance so hard, Lance thought he felt his brain rattle against his skull. “Huh? Are you? Answer me! Or are you too stupid?”

His friends were giggling and egging him on, but before he could do anything else to Lance, a voice silenced the boys.

“Leave him alone,” Lance’s savior said, the voice was low and threatening. Lance looked toward the voice, but couldn’t see who was talking. The boy shook Lance again. “Who him?”

“Stop it,” The voice said.

“You can’t make me,” Jimmy sneered.

Lance’s savior said nothing, but Lance watched as Jimmy’s face changed from a smug sneer to outrage. Whatever the other boy had done made Jimmy release his shirt and shove him away. For the second time that day, Lance lost his balance and fell to the ground.

Lance looked back to see the person who had been defending him. The boy had long black hair that brushed his shoulders and uneven bangs that hung in his face. He wore a red hooded jacket and he had a scary scowl fixed on his face. He looked about Lance’s age and Jimmy was at least twice his size. Lance felt his heart sink. This poor kid was about to get the crap beat out of him by Jimmy. The boy brought his fists up and slid his back foot behind him.

Lance couldn’t let his rescuer get beat up for him. He had to do something.

Jimmy took a step forward and Lance must have had a death wish, because without thinking, he stuck his leg out, from his position on the ground. Jimmy tripped and fell flat on his face. Jimmy jumped to his feet and whirled at Lance, but before he could do anything, a red blur shot forward and punched Jimmy right in the side of his face.

Jimmy fell into the dirt and stared at the boy in astonishment.

“Leave. Him. Alone.” The boy practically growled. There was a moment of shocked silence. Then, the boy took a threatening step forward and Jimmy scrambled to his feet and took off, his bully friends running after him.

Lance’s savior turned to look down at him. Lance stared in awe.

“You okay?” the boy asked him gruffly.

All Lance could do in response was nod. The boy gave a sharp, awkward nod and turned sharply, walking away. This startled him out of his staring and Lance rushed after the boy, jogging to catch up with him. He didn’t even glance once at Lance.

“Thanks,” Lance said to him, once he had caught up. The boy’s eyes darted to him, but he didn’t say anything, he just kept walking. Now walking side-by-side, Lance noticed that he was taller than Lance - but only by a little bit.

Not to be deterred, Lance continued. “What is your name?”

“Keith.” The boy said shortly after a pause.

“That is a cool name!” Keith glanced at him, but didn’t stop walking. The boy didn’t ask his name, but Lance said it anyway. “My name is Leandro - I mean Lance.”

Keith looked at him again, a questioning look on his face this time.

“Oh, I mean my real name is Leandro Charles McClain, but I changed my name when we moved to America. So, it’s Lance now.”

Keith stopped walking. He stared at Lance so intently that Lance shifted his feet feeling nervous.

“You shouldn’t have to change your name.”

Lance blinked. That was the most words he’d ever heard from Keith. He... kinda sounded like a cowboy - like from TV.

“I like Leandro better anyway.” Keith said bluntly.

Lance gave him a surprised smile. It was the nicest thing anyone his age in America had ever said to him. Keith started walking again, but slower now so Lance didn’t have to practically jog to keep up. Lance wondered where Keith was even walking to.

They walked quietly for about ten steps before Lance couldn’t hold it in anymore. “Hey, are you a cowboy? Like John Wayne?” Lance bounced, practically brimming over with excitement.

Keith looked at him and Lance was so close that he could see the deep violet of his eyes. Lance was amazed. He didn’t know you could have galaxies for eye colors. Lance also noticed a scratch above Keith’s eyebrow that looked so _cool_. Lance wondered if Keith had got it in a fight.

Curiosity made Keith’s head tilt slightly. “Who’s John Wayne?”

Lance gasped dramatically. “The best cowboy _ever_!”

Keith smiled a little.

“You want to play cowboys with me? You can be John Wayne - since you saved me.”

Keith smiled a little more and nodded.

~~ ☼ ~~ ☼ ~~ ☼ ~~

 

Lance woke with a gasp. A series of beeps pulling him from his dream - _memory_.

Lance sat up with a groan, rubbing his face. He hadn’t had a dream that vivid in a long time. His phone beeped again and he picked it up. The light nearly blinding him.

 

**_Lettuce Die_ **

_Sunday_

_1:02am_

**Hunky** : Are you still alive

 **Hunky** : I'm about to call the cops

 **Hunky** : guys I'm freaking out

 **Hunky** : pls tell me you aren't dead

 **Pidgey** : we're alive

 **Hunky** : oh thank God

 **Hunky** : if you were murdered, I would have killed you

 **Hunky** : Well how did the hunt go?

 **Pidgey** : we don't want to talk about it

 

He felt the void in his chest open wider. He flopped back onto his pillow.

He closed the group chat and opened his text with Nyma, re-reading it.

 

**_Nyma < Lance_ **

 

_Saturday_

_3:40pm_

**Nyma** : hey Lancey lance

 **Nyma** : im in Cocoa!

 **Nyma** : I know things ended pretty shitty between us but id like us to still be friends

 **Nyma** : maybe we could meet up and talk about it?

 **Nyma** : id like to apologize in person

 **Nyma** : lemme know what you decide

 **Nyma** : Ill be in town until next Sunday xo

 

Lance wondered if he should just delete the conversation and forget about it. After a moment of debate, he decided against it and closed the chat, turning his phone off.

The clock on the bedside table lit up the otherwise pitch black room. _1AM_. Today was their flight back home.

Lance ran a hand over his eyes and stared at the glowing stars he stuck to the ceiling years ago.

This was going to be a long night.

 

~~ ☼ ~~

 

Beautiful watercolor concept art of Lance's necklance by Bailey!

(Please do not repost) 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!!
> 
> Translations:
> 
>  
> 
> ¡Cuida tu lenguaje! - Watch your language!  
> Mi hermano favorito! - My favorite brother!  
> Muchas estrellas. - Lots of stars./Many stars.  
> Las cosas mejorarán. Te quiero, hermanito. - Things will get better. I love you, little brother.


	6. The One That's a Mess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO!  
> ~~ Special thanks to Bailey for being wonderful and writing this fic with me! ~~
> 
> I think you'll all really like this chapter!  
> We're back at it with the crack and the angst
> 
> Thank you for all the comments and kudos!! <3

Keith jolted upright in bed. For a moment, he wasn’t sure what woke him up, but then his alarm clock beeped. He looked bleerily at the time.

 

_6:45am_

 

Keith scrambled out of bed. _Fuck._ He was going to be late to work. Again.

 

He threw on his work clothes, tripping and nearly face planting as he did so. He snatched his keys off his dresser as he left his room.

 

He dashed into the kitchen to see a scene that just radiated domestic bliss. Shiro was at the counter drinking coffee out of a mug Keith made for him in 8th grade pottery, and reading the newspaper like the old man he was. Adam was at the stove making something with eggs - probably an omelette - and as Keith watched, to his horror, Shiro lifted up his plate without even looking as Adam leaned over and slapped the omelette onto his plate.

 

It was honestly unreal how oblivious these two were. “Unbelievable,” Keith whispered under his breath in disgust.

 

Shiro glanced up, looking at Keith over his reading glasses. “Morning, Keith.”

 

Adam looked up and smiled. “Good morning, buddy. How’d you sleep?”

 

If Keith didn’t live this every day for the past five years, he never would have believed it himself. It was like they were already married and they hadn’t even gone on a real date yet.

 

“Slept fine, thanks. I’m late, gotta go.” Keith booked it to the door, accepting the piece of toast Adam offered him on his way to the door.

 

“Oh, hey, wait. Catch,” Shiro tossed him something, and on pure instinct Keith caught it, fumbling a bit since he was still holding the bread. Keith blinked in surprise. It was his phone - his _smartphone_. The phone that he was fairly certain he had left in that deranged woman’s house.

 

“ _Oh, shit_.”

 

“Yeah, thought you might want that,” Shiro said, misinterpreting Keith’s shock. “I know you’re not big on expensive phones and such, but that wasn’t free. You should take care of it.”

 

“Where did you find it?” Keith asked. _There was no way_ …

 

“Uh, it was on the back seat of my truck.”

 

_How… ?_

 

“Wow. Thought this was gone forever. Thanks, Shiro.”

 

“Wait, what do you mean you thought it was gone forever?”

 

Keith stuffed the bread in his mouth, letting out a muffled “Bye” before he jerked open the door and slammed it behind him.

 

~~~

 

Keith wondered if sleep deprivation could kill. Not like if you could kill someone with sleep deprivation, but like if you could die from it. Keith definitely could kill someone, seeing as he didn't have time for coffee or an energy drink or even a decent breakfast on his way out the door. His normally short fuse was probably significantly shorter today.

 

Keith rubbed his face. He had been awake for way too long. He leaned against the counter and pulled out his phone. The shop was usually packed on Sunday mornings, but today there was just one homeless dude passed out on a corner table and a teenager on a laptop sipping away at his macchiato. Keith scrolled absently though his feed. His eyes felt like they were bleeding. Why did he think cryptid hunting on a Saturday night before work was a good idea?

 

The chime to the door rang and Keith looked up hopefully, but it was just the teenager leaving. It was just Keith and the homeless guy now.

 

Keith’s phone buzzed and he opened his messages.

  


**_The GAYnes_ **

_Sunday_

_7:00 am_

 

 **Takashit** : HOLY SHIT KIETH YIUVE GOT YO HELP ME

 **Yorak** : what

 **Yorak** : its 7AM  I JUST left for work

 **Yorak** : what could have possibly happened in the 10 minutes I've been gone

 **Takashit** : AHHSNANAHSVGHAGDB

 **Yorak** : Are you okay?

 **Yorak** : What's going on?

 **Yorak** : I swear if its Adam again

 **Takashit** : ITS ADAM

 **Yorak** : fucking shit

 **Yorak** : Dude just fuck him already

 **Yorak** : Jeez. It's too early for this

 **Yorak** : i had like two hours of sleep last night

 **Takashit** : JQBDKAHSJAJ

 **Takashit** : KEITH THIS IS SERIOUS

 **Yorak** : what's serious?

 **Yorak** : The fact that the two of you have been roommates for years and have both been PINING the ENTIRE TIME

 **Takashit** : Don't fucking lecture me on pining, Keith Akira kogane

 **Yorak** : ????? Wtf is that supposed to mean?

 **Yorak** : And don't full name me! Youre not my dad

 **Takashit** : I can do whatever I want bc I'm your cousin

 **Yorak** : That doesn't mean anything!

 **Takashit** : ** I can do whatever I want because I’m your legal guardian

 **Yorak** : Technically I’m 18 so that means I don’t have a legal guardian

 **Takashit** : TECHNICALLY you still live under our roof sooo

 **Yorak** : ugh whatever

 **Yorak** : fine

 **Yorak** : consider yourself lucky that im too exhausted to argue or draw attention to the fact that you just said “our”

 **Yorak** : Whine to me abiut your crush like the stupid middle school child you are

 **Takashit** : THANK YOU

 **Takashit** : ANYWAY

 **Takashit** : aDAM JUST FUCKINF WALKIED INTO MY ROOM COMPLETELY NAKED AND ASJED WHERE THE DISH SOAP WAS

 **Yorak** : ...

 **Yorak** : what the actual fuck

 **Takashit** : I KNOW

 **Yorak** : well what did you do

 **Takashit** : I STARED AT HIS DUCK

 **Yorak** : I didn't know Adam had a pet

 **Takashit** : *DICK

 **Takashit** : I STARED AT HIS DICK KEITH

 **Yorak** : oh

 **Yorak** : OH

 **Yorak** : wtf Shiro

 **Takashit** : I PANICKED OKAY

 **Yorak** : so what you just stared at him in silence??

 **Takashit** : NO I TOLD HIM WHWRE IT WAS

 **Yorak** : wtf takashi

 **Yorak** : youre so fucking oblivious shiro

 **Yorak** : did you even ask why he was naked in the first place?

 **Takashit** : now when the fuck would I have asked that Keith?? In-between staring at his dick and tryin to formulate a coherent response that wasn't “take me now, you sexy Greek god???”

 **Yorak** : SHIRO WHAT THE FUCK

 **Yorak** : NEVER SAY, TYPE, WRITE, OR THINK THAT TOWARSS ME EVER AGAIB

 **Yorak** : I’m going to go bleach my eyes now bye  

 **Yorak** : also if you had said that he probably would have fucked you

 **Yorak** : k i gotta work bye

 **Takashit** : wait what

 **Takashit** : WHAT DI YOU KNOW

 **Takashit** : Oh NOW you waNT TO WORK??

 **Takashit** : GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT

 **Takashit** : I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE

 

**_Lettuce Die_ **

_Sunday_

_7:16 am_

**Knifeman** : <<sent.screenshot>>

 **Knifeman** : can someone please help my cousin

 **Dad** : I am going to kill you, Keith.

 **Knifeman** : imma bad bitch you can't kill me

 **Pidge** : did Keith just meme

 **Knifeman** : no

 **Pidgey** : sounds fake but okay

 **Knifeman** : did you even see the screenshot I sent???

 **RomCom** : no it's still loading

 **Pidgey** : HAHAHAHAHA

 **Hunk** : OMG SHIRO WHAT

 **Allura** : also who is this Adam

 **Knifeman** : his roommate since college

 **Queen** : oh my gosh

 **Pidgey** : aND THEY WERE ROOMMATES

 **Knifeman** : oh my gosh they were roommates

 **Hunky** : omg whaT

 **Pidgey** : HAHA

 **Pidgey** : OH THE BLACKMAIL

 **Pidgey** : IM IN HEAVEN

 **Dad** : I hate everything.

 **Queen** : everything except for Adams dick it would seem

 **Dad** : JWJNRKWKDJJRJRUE

_Shiro renamed Queen to Bitch_

**Bitch** : wow

 **Bitch** : real mature

 **Dad** : I do what I want.

 **Hunky** : omg

 **Pidgey** : I. Am. Living.

_Bitch renamed Bitch to QueenBitch_

**QueenBitch** : perfection

 **QueenBitch** : WAIT

_QueenBitch renamed Dad to Duck_

**QueenBitch** : now it’s perfection

 **QueenBitch** : now we just need to help Shiro come up with elaborate plan to seduce adam

 **Pidgey** : excellent

 **Duck** : wait what

 

_Allura Altea created Group Chat_

_Allura Altea renamed Allura Altea to Aphrodite_

_Aphrodite added Takashi Shirogane, Katie Holt, Hunk Garret, Keith Kogane, Shay Balmera, Romelle Altea_

_Aphrodite renamed Takashi Shirogane to DaddyDuck;)_

_Aphrodite renamed Katie Holt to LoveDr_

_Aphrodite renamed Hunk Garret to Cupid_

_Aphrodite renamed Keith Kogane to Wingman_

_Aphrodite renamed Shay Balmera to ShayBae_

_Aphrodite renamed Romelle Altea to RomCom_

_Aphrodite set chat name to_ **_Operation: Get Shiro Fucked_ **

 

**_Operation: Get Shiro Fucked_ **

 

_7:20am_

**Aphrodite** : Hello friends

 **LoveDr** : marry me

 **RomCom** : aww why didnt Shay and I get a cool new nick name

 **Aphrodite** : oh i thought your names were already appropriate :D

 **RomCom** : oh! You’re right!

 **Wingman** : why did you make a whole new chat? Why didnt you just rename our old one

 **Aphrodite** : …. oh

 **Aphrodite** : well this is a secret chat the other one isnt - so just in case someone wants to add Adam they still can

  
  


“ _Keith_!”

 

Keith jolted up so fast that he nearly dropped his phone. His boss - a horrible woman with dusty grey-brown hair - was glaring at him from bloodshot eyes.

 

“You aren’t paid to play on your phone! Put that electronic device away!”

 

Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, Keith straightened and slipped his phone into his pocket. “Yes, ma’am.”

 

~~ ☼ ~~

 

Lance hit the little airplane button for airplane mode and tucked his phone back in his bag. He didn’t have enough space for games on his phone since most of his apps were social media, so there wasn’t anything to do on it anyway.

 

Lance had his fair share of lousy plane trips, but he was fairly sure that this flight was going to be a good one… despite his inevitable mood crash once the plane lands. Lance shook himself. He needed a distraction before he sank into sad thoughts.

 

This was going to be a great flight - he had the window seat _and_ the seat next to him was empty. The planes also had some pretty nice looking tvs and a good movie selection from what he could see playing on the dude’s seat in front of his. As he began unraveling his headphone cord, a baby started crying from somewhere behind him. _Yikes_. Lance was glad he had his headphones at least. He could probably drown out the crying with a good action movie.

 

Lance tapped the on button to his tv… and nothing happened.

 

 _What_?

 

Lance tapped it again. Nope. Nothing. Well, that was no problem because there was no one in the seat next to his. He tapped the tv next to him. _Nothing_.

 

“What the actual fuck,” he hissed under his breath. This was _literally_ his luck.  

 

The baby was still wailing.

 

Normally Lance adored children - but on an hour plane ride with a child screaming that he couldn’t even attempt to quiet… Lance’s patience was fraying to say the least.

 

No worries. Lance had a few songs downloaded onto his phone that he could listen to. He dug his phone back out and plugged in his head phones. Scrolling through his playlists, he selected one at random and hit shuffle. Instantly, superbass blared out of the speakers on his phone, not his headphones. Lance fumbled and quickly paused the music. He adjusted the headphones, making sure to plug them in all the way this time. Turning the volume down just in case, he played the music again, only to have it blare from the speakers. So, now his headphones were broken, too? Lance wasn’t sure if he wanted to laugh, cry, or scream. Or maybe all three. Instead, he opted for curling against the window and staring out into the expanse of endless blue sky and fluffy clouds, trying to ignore the baby’s crying. His headphones muffled the sound a little, but unfortunately they weren’t magic.

 

Lance was deep in thought, when his left headphone was suddenly pulled away from his ear and a voice whispered closely, “You rockin’ out?”

 

Lance let out an ungodly shriek and jerked away. Rachel was sitting in the seat next to him, looking like she was seconds from bursting into laughter. The plane had gone quiet and he noticed several people turning around to look at him or in his direction. Lance felt his face flush in embarrassment.

 

Lance didn’t think this flight could get any worse, and then it did.

 

A very disgruntled looking flight attendant stepped next to Rachel’s seat, glancing at her once and then settling her eyes on Lance, her mouth was set in a slight frown.

 

“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to settle down,” she said bruskley. Lance wanted to disappear into his seat.

 

“Oh, my _gosh_ ,” Rachel exclaimed, causing both Lance and the attendant to look at her in alarm. “I thought you were going to ask him to step out the plane.”

 

Actually, no, Lance wanted to yeet himself off this fucking plane.

 

“Rachel -” Lance began to admonish her, but couldn’t think of anything to say so he let the disappointment hang in the air as he addressed the attendant. “I’m sorry, we’ll be quieter, ma’am.

 

The woman nodded and then went back the way she came.

 

“Dude, I thought they were going to throw you out of the airlock with no parachute.”

 

“Rachel, they wouldn’t do that. But now I kind of wish she would have. You’re really embarrassing, you know that?”

 

“Jeez where did your sense of humor go and die.”

 

“Shut up,” Lance sighed, the phrase lacking any real heat.

 

They sat together in silence - or well, they didn’t talk, they just listened to the child screaming.

 

After a while, Rachel sighed and her voice turned serious. “Lance, we need to talk.”

 

Lance recognized her serious voice and glanced over at her, pulling down his headphones. “About what?” he asked warily.

 

“We’re all here for you, Lance. You know that, right?”

 

Lance really looks at her. He and Rachel always argued a lot but most of it was good natured - he knew she was always there for him, no matter what. Lance felt himself smile a little - a real smile. “Yeah, I know.”

 

“And I know that the end of summer is always hard on you, but if you need to talk to someone… talk. Please. It doesn’t have to me, it can be anyone. But I’m always here for you to talk to.”

 

Lance knew she meant it, and that's exactly why he would never talk about it. He couldn’t talk about it. Lance would never want to be a burden to her or to his family. Or more a burden than he already was. Lance would never talk to Rache or anyone about this. He was pretty sure that they never realized how upset he still was over… _that_ . He couldn’t take the pity if they knew. The looks and the pats and the ‘there-there's.’ He was already getting it bad enough and they still only thought this to be just a difficult _date_. Not the earth shattering memory of what had happened - they didn’t realize how fresh it was on his mind.

 

Sometimes when he woke up in the morning, he felt the pain in his chest like the wound was still fresh - like it had happened yesterday rather than _five years_ ago. People said it got easier… but did it? Shouldn’t it have gotten “ _better_ ” by now? When would this _pain_ end? When would he feel normal again? When would he be able to see something as simple as the color red without out feeling his heart shatter all over again?

 

So, no. Lance couldn’t - _wouldn’t_ \- tell Rachel.

 

Instead, Lance tried for another smile - unlike the first smile, this one felt fake.

 

“Yeah I know - I’ll talk to you if I need to. Thanks, Rachel.”

 

She looked a little skeptical, but still smiled and nodded.

 

“Okay thank god that mushy stuff is settled. Wanna play a game? I need to distract myself from that baby crying before I rip my own ears off.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Is it the boys or the authors that are the mess? idk)
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed this chapter! (We've been sitting on that chat for a while and are so happy to finally be able to post it! XD )


	7. The One With A Flashback on the Roof

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY GUYS!!  
> So Bailey wrote this chapter! I unfortunately cannot take credit for any of it, she wrote the whole thing! 
> 
> Thank you all so much for 300 kudos!! And thank you for all the comments!!!
> 
> Also - sorry if the chapter format is wonky, Bailey and I are currently posting this chapter from my phone at a Starbucks in Mexico because it's the only place we could find WiFi XD
> 
> THANK YOU ALL AGAIN SO MUCH AND WE HOPE YOU ENJOY!!!

**Chapter 7**

**The One With A Flashback on A Roof**

  
  


“Come on Kira!” 

 

The cool, well at least by Florida terms, fall air rushed over Keith as he climbed out of Lance's bedroom window. This was something they did often, looking at the stars out on the roof. Just on the horizon you could see Cocoa Beach, the crescent moon reflecting over everything to the edge of the ocean. 

 

Keith sat down on their makeshift bed of pillows and blankets scattered on the roof. The stars were shining brighter than Keith had ever seen. He listened to Lance rambling on, pointing out every single constellation in the September sky. He pointed out Jupiter rising on the eastern horizon and talked about the zodiac constellations that were currently in the sky and their astrology, even though Keith didn't believe in that kind of stuff. He didn't mind though. 

 

Keith looked over at Lance, the moon illuminating his already blue eyes. It made him look almost ethereal. His gaze turned back to the stars, but if he was honest, Lance's eyes were way prettier. He would never admit that though. 

 

They stayed on the rooftop for hours, but it didn't seem like it to Keith. He could've stayed like this forever.

 

“There's Venus!” Lance practically jumped up to his feet losing his balance, and crawled his way over to Keith. Now super close to him, Lance pointed a finger in Keith's line of view pointing out the planets light. 

 

“Wow it's super bright tonight!”

 

Over the next couple of minutes they watched Venus carry the constellation Leo through the night sky. Eventually, the edge of the earth began glowing a vibrant orange, casting a reflection over the water. You couldn't tell the sky from the ocean except for the crash of waves breaking the glow. They had stayed up all night.

 

Lance sighed, his gaze looking far out to the edge of the horizon. 

 

“We should go surfing sometime.”

 

“You know I'm no good. Besides you'll just try to show off to me like you always do.” 

 

“Pfff. I  _ do not _ try to show off! I'm just naturally gifted. Can't help that you're wowed by my surfing skills.” Lance gave a smirk and winked, eliciting a little giggle out of Keith.

Lance tucked his legs to his chest and rested his head on his knees, looking out to the water.

 

“You should see the waves in Cuba..”.

 

“I wish I could go with you.”

 

“Well, maybe one year you can come with us to Cuba. I'm sure your dad will let you!”

 

Keith sighed halfheartedly. Yeah he wished, but his dad was insanely over protective. 

 

“It’s for two whole months out of the year. I just… miss you everytime you go away. I mean, we don't ever get to hang out for the whole summer.”

 

“Hey, Man. Don't worry! We're The Official Cryptid Hunters, Space Ranger Partners, Defenders of Tomorrow! Hell, we can travel the world, space, the end of time!” 

 

“And when we grow up we'll visit Mexico and Norway, China to France, all the way to Canada!”

 

“Did you just list the countries at Epcot?”

 

“You know me too well.” Lance laughed “World travel is expensive! Disney World is only like two hours away. We could travel the whole world in a day!” 

 

“You just want to go to Disney, you nerd.”

 

Lance laughed one of his brilliant laughs. The kind of pure joy. The sparkle in Lance's eye had Keith staring for a little longer than he should of. Lance caught his gaze and his smile softened

 

“Akira, we’re best friends forever. I promise nothing is ever going to change that. And I promise one day you’ll go to Cuba with me. And after that, we can see the world like we’ve always wanted to.”

 

“Forever.” Keith whispered under his breath. 

 

“OH!” The exclamation nearly scared Keith straight off the roof. Lance held up a big bright yellow bag with happy birthday plastered all over it in bright colors. 

 

Keith dug through the bag filled with tissue paper still not finding anything. He knew Lance better than anyone. This was probably just one of his tricks like the time lance put a box inside a box inside a box inside a box, then duct taped the whole thing and made him open it for Christmas. Yeah this was probably one of those times. 

 

Putting the bag down in his lap defeatedly, Keith shot Lance a dirty look.

 

Lance held up his hands in defense “Its in there! I swear! My mamà couldn't find a smaller bag.” He laughed awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. 

 

Keith continued digging around until he finally found something hard wrapped in one of the pieces of tissue and pulled it out from the bag. He unwrapped it carefully…

 

“Tada! It's a hand carved guitar pick!” Lance smiled a wide tooth grin. The smile so big it travelled to his eyes. “From Cuba.”

 

Keith turned it over in his hand “You already got me something from your trip this year.” 

 

“Well..yeah,” He scooted closer. “but not for your birthday! I was saving it for then but I couldn't wait.” Lance leaned back arms extending behind him as he looked back up at the stars. “Happy 13th, Man.”

 

Keith starred at him inquisitively. His birthday wasn't for almost another month, and knowing Lance he'd probably get him something else then too. Keith turned his attention back to the guitar pick, the wood stained a reddish color and his name engraved in small letters at the edge of the pick. 

 

“I love it.”

 

He turned to Lance with a small smile. 

 

“Thanks, Leandro.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed this disaster. This is mostly just for fun so I might add more, I might not just depends. So, I don't know where I'm going with this really but I'm just gonna wing it. (I had a lot of fun writing it, though, so expect more soon)


End file.
